Hakkenden: Touhou Hakken Ibun (Seasons 1 & 2)

How can something be so beautiful and so sad at the same time?

These two series follow on from each other fairly well, and even the episode number (in the anime, not as listed) follows on in ascending order. It's as though the series was supposed to be one long one, but they decided to put it in two halves (I have not read up on this, nor know the actual reason behind this decision).

Shino.

The story follows Shino, an apparent pre-pubescent boy, and his childhood friends, Sousuke and Hamaji. They were orphaned due to a terrible incident in their village five years prior, and stuck together as family, the only survivors. With strange ties to the church, a lack of memories of the past and demonic powers, this story covers it all. Some things are not even revealed until the very end, so it has plenty of questions to keep you watching.

Hamaji.

I found it really intriguing, there are hints to keep you guessing but it is also pleasant to watch by just going with the flow and not thinking too much. I would also call this a casual anime, you get obsessed with watching it, but you don't feel the need to watch every episode in succession (it came out a year or two ago, so I watched it when I had the time, instead of making time for it).

Sousuke fighting himself/ other half.

If you liked Spirited Away, Fruits Basket, or any other anime with spirits, demons and all things legendary, then check this out. You won't regret it, that is my personal guarantee.

Unconditional love,
Cazzie x

Introducing: Project Happy UK

As a follow up from my previous post, I want to share with you the first video we produced as part of Project Happy.

We currently have a blog set up, with tips on getting through uni, and dealing with stress, among many future topics we will cover in relation to mental wellbeing. You can find it at www.projecthappyuk.wordpress.com  where Sarah and Katharine post weekly on Sundays. (I used real names for once).
We also have a twitter and instagram set up, both with the usernames @projecthappyuk.
Please follow and support us, if you have any suggestions, we will be sure to look into them and see what we can do. You can email us at: projecthappyuk@gmail.com

Thank you as always.
Unconditional love,
Cazzie x

Retrospect

A year ago today was the most stressful and happiest day of my life. It was the day I honestly contemplated suicide because of the situation in university halls. I couldn't take it anymore.

It was also the day the people in the office finally let me move out. The tension literally lifted from my shoulders and it was the best feeling in the world.

Now, I'm working on Project Happy with some friends, to bring a bit of that happiness that I felt, to the lives of others, if only momentarily.

A lot can happen in a year, and without the help and support from my friends and family, who knows what my life would be like right now, if it even exists. So I want to say a massive thank you to these people in particular, and send a message to you all. If someone is feeling down, do what you can to help them, you don't know if the situation is minor or major, and you really can make a difference. So please, spread the love.

Unconditional love,
Cazzie x

This is not a review :O

So, I know I said that I will be focusing on my studies, at least for the next few months. I seems that I lied to myself. I have found myself playing The Sims 3 and 4 on multiple occasions, watching anime and simply going out.

Sims 4

I've started four new series: Ookami Shoujo to Kuro Ouji, Trinity Seven, Cross Ange: Tenshi to Ryuu no Rondo, and Grisaia no Kajitsu. One of these is a normal length series of around 25 episodes, but you can expect the other reviews around Christmas (I guess that's when they end).

Cross Ange

Not only have I been watching anime, but Grimm, The Big Bang Theory, The Simpsons, American Horror Story and Marvel's Agents of SHIELD are also back on TV. Well, I don't have a TV but Netflix and Amazon are quite useful here. If I can't find them there, there are always Google Searches.

That's all for a quick update from me.
Unconditional love,
Cazzie x

SUMMERRRRRR

Exam's are over and it's summertime now.

Time to watch anime, find a job and look for a new place to live from September.

Oh, I'm re-watching Black Butler with my current flatmate, so a review will be up soon. There's so much I forgot about in the past, like Grell being 'human' in the beginning :o. I've watched it a couple of times in the past, but when it comes to good anime, there's no such thing as watching it too much. :P

I have three weeks left in my contract at my flat, so I need a job as soon as I leave this place. Expect new blogs for when I actually do something. Last year when I started this thing, I thought my life was so dramatic. Now it's practically normal... University has changed me :O I'm not going out to clubs and bars as often as I used to, but I'm not staying in doing nothing either. Just keeping busy with everyday things.

That's all for now.

Unconditional love,
Cazzie x

Too Small To Model, Yet Taller Than My Friends

Just what the title says.

I was working on Saturday and someone came up to me asking if I model. When I said 'No', he asked if I had ever modelled. My positive reply led to a disagreement over how I should/shouldn't consider myself a model. Apparently I have the face a figure for it. One little problem, I'm not very tall.

When I was measured at the doctors, I was said to be 5'4. I always thought I was an inch or two taller than that, but this is still short in terms of modelling. Most agencies require you to be 5'8 without shoes.

Also, like most girls around the Western world, I do not consider myself to be thin. I know that I am not fat as UK size 10 clothes are a little big on me now (need to do some major shopping), but I find my abs are getting strong enough to fade the hourglass figure I was once so proud of.

'Baggy' skinny jeans... Friend's house.

I know, I know, I have big hair. Now, when I see myself, I don't see what everyone else sees.
Models are 1) incredibly tall, and 2) incredibly thin. I love my food. I'm even eating as I type this. I eat quite healthily but every so often,, I binge on junk food... If I work out, I make sure to eat even more. Imagine me, trying to be one to them.. no thank you. I'M HAPPY BEING AVERAGE (for once).

Unconditional love,
Cazzie x

Dungarees!!

These have to make a comeback this season. I mean, who doesn't love them?

So I bought a pair in the Christmas sales in New Look, and I've noticed that they still have styles in store at full price. I've been addicted to dungarees for years, I have always loved them.
Some guy stopped me in the street yesterday, just to say that he loved them. We just chatted about how they should make a comeback this season, and wondered if they would suit him.

Like the first image.

This season, when the sun comes out with some warmth, I'm going to be wearing my dungarees rolled up a little, with a crop top. And white Converse of course. I adore my Converse, so if I can find an outfit that goes with them, I will wear it.

Oh, full length dungarees of course, the short ones just look like playsuit imitations... But dungarees can be worn in many different ways to show cute sides, and tomboy ones. It's all in the accessories and other clothing you choose.

I don't think I should ever do a fashion blog...

Unconditional love,
Cazzie x

P.S. If you find some skinny jean style dungarees, let me know because I really want some. Especially the high waisted ones. <3

Perspective

So I was sitting there in the bar and this guy comes up to me and he said "My life stinks" and I saw his gold credit card and I saw the way he was looking at people across the room and I looked at his face and you know, what a good looking face, and I just said, "Dude, your perspective on life sucks". ~ Mika, Blame it on the Girls.

Every situation can be perceived in different ways by different people. And Mika makes a very good point in the beginning of this song. No matter how much you have, you can see the down-side, yet you can always see the best in bad situations. Try and be grateful for what you do have, instead of wishing you have what you don't. 'My life sucks' and 'FML' (back in my day) are thrown around way too much. 

I went back to my old town today, and well, everyone looked so miserable. My mum was driving, and we burst into laughter creating lives for the sad people and laughing at them. We probably looked crazy together, but laughing is so good for you. Especially as I actually saw the sun for the first time in ages. 'I swear she was glaring at the man crossing the road. Nahh, actually she was glaring at me. She hates me laughing.' Just silly things like that. People seem to get more jealous(?) and sad when they see others enjoying life. But I don't care what they think, I was singing in the shops, laughing at everything, jumped up and down in excitement over some doughnuts (my town doesn't seem to stock them ANYWHERE at the moment) and just enjoying life. We laughed at my mum screaming 'Flood!' everytime she saw a large puddle in the road, as if the cars behind could hear her warning.

Basically, enjoy the little things, and happiness will follow. I know this sounds too easy to be true, but it works for me (most of the time ;3).

Unconditional love, 

Cazzie x

Religion vs Good People

I consider myself to be religious, yet not really religious.

I can't tell if he looks bored or judgmental? Probably neither.

I believe in God, was brought up in a Christian family and went to Catholic schools. However, I stopped going to church regularly from the age when I was allowed to stay home alone. Both my parents go to church each week, but to different denominations. My mum goes to the Salvation Army while my dad is a Pentecostal, speaking in tongues, gospel singing kind of guy.

I do not think that religious people are good. Maybe I've had a few too many run ins with religious people that I do not like. Both my parents have abused me at some point in my life, luckily not at the same time. The man who got me kicked out my house was supposedly extremely religious. Oh, and I've been called a 'bad Christian'.

I may not go to church, but I still believe. I pray for others, and sometimes for my pain to go away. I try not to be selfish, but there's only so much a human can do. I'm not perfect and I accept that. I give to charity when I can, but as a student, I am often in debt and asking my dad to help me out financially with the intention to pay him back.

I think that as long as you try to be a good person, you will go to Heaven. Religion aside. It's your intentions that count, not if you force others to believe a religion you pretend to believe in. Yes, God may be with you in every step of your life, but please, don't tell me there's someone watching over my shoulder all the time. That's just creepy.

There are too many people out there that go to church and think that's all they need to do. They do not give to charity, they do not consider others and are not nice people.
*I went to my dad's church once and they said "If you have any money with you, you must give it to the church. It's what God wants."* I mean, what if you just received a late birthday card and it had a little bit of money in it? You expect me to give you a gift that was intended for me? Heck no! They looked down on me when I emptied my pockets to prove I had no money with me at all. (Never make a ten year old feel poor for not carrying cash.)

I'm sorry, but in my eyes, forcing and pressurising others to come to your church and believe in God is not being religious. 'Love thy neighbour', surely as they are? Jesus didn't discriminate against the Jews for not following him, so why should we shun the non-believers?

We have so many religions, so why can't we accept that instead of implying 'Our religion is the only true religion'. No, the basic foundations are all the same. Three pillars that I forgot from Religious Studies; Charity being the only one I remember.

So can we all just try to be good people? Pretty please?

Unconditional love,

Cazzie x

Destiny - Part 2

The journey.

The journey can be split into four different, main categories.
1, easy road, good outcome.
2, easy road, bad outcome.
3, tough road, brilliant outcome.
4, tough road, bad outcome.

Interpret this as you wish. When I thought of this, I figured that if you are motivated but have a load of obstacles in the way (tough road), your outcome will be brilliant in comparison.
However, there is the chance that you won't make it, usually because you don't think you can handle the pressure.

Life gives its toughest battles to its strongest soldiers.

God will never give you more than you can handle. ~I can't remember where I heard these but they have always stuck with me since. 

I look around me, and have noticed that most celebrities who have reached the top, came from broken or deprived backgrounds.
Then again, some have it easy by being born into the lifestyle and just carrying it on.

Generally (yes, I'm sure you can think of plenty of EXCEPTIONS), the higher the motivation a person has to succeed, the further they will go.

There's a higher level than the top, don't make do with what you've got. ~ Chipmunk.

So I've deviated from 'destiny' quite a bit, but it links in with my previous post. Destiny may be your purpose in life, but we can make and reach our own hopes, dreams and goals. Just don't forget to enjoy the juorney. ;)

Unconditional love,
Cazzie x

J.Reyez

What can I really say?

He's Korean.

He's Canadian.

He's kinda cute.

I love his lyrics.

Rap/ Hip-hop is my all-time favourite genre.

I may have re-wrote the lyrics a little wrong as I did them from memory as soon as I got into class, and heard the song on my journey. Haha.

So I discovered J.Reyez years and years ago, when he did a parody of 'Like a G6' on Youtube (I believe it was something to do with a seagull?). Remember when that song came out? That's when I started listening to this guy. I don't know how, but he was already in my subscriptions so I started watching other videos.

This was long before my kpop obsession, as 3/4 years is fairly recent. I found him during my Canadian obsession. I've had a few obsessions over the years xD.

Anyway, I knew that he collaborated with Lydia Paek a lot in his albums, and she features in quite a lot of his videos too. Now, I didn't know she was with YG Entertainment until very late last year (as in, the last few days of December). And, best of all, she's even worked with G-Dragon a few times. <3

So jealous haha.

So J.Reyez raps about his life, and in a way he is a bit like Eminem. He does kpop covers in English, produces his own albums and songs, goes on tour and is quite successful now even if he isn't that famous to everyone. But he still has loads of fans.

I personally think he is quite inspirational as an artist and would love to meet him one day. Anyway, I've gone off topic, back on topic and probably make no sense right now, so this is goodbye.

Unconditional love,

Cazzie x

Contact Me

I love speaking to people all the time, and I get lonely at times. I can also try and give you some advice. So here are the best ways of getting in touch. I do try to reply, but I don't always use all of these methods all the time. Just try your luck ^.^

Skype: carinahasskype
Kik: carinaad
Twitter: carinaxx94 (I had to change it and privatize it for personal reasons)
E-mail (no guarantee): caz.a.d@hotmail.com

I also use various other ways, so just comment below or ask through one of the above. ^.^ Let's talk.

Unconditional love,
Cazzie x

Happy New Year - Part 2

Happy New Year (again)!!

Do any of you have any New Years Resolutions? You know, the whole 'new year, new me' sort of thing?
How about keeping it simple 'I will be nicer to my parents'.

My half one is to take more selfies. I looked through my Instagram a couple of weeks ago, and realised that most of my stuff is boring and either food or random things that no one would find interesting at all. So I decided at that point (before Christmas), that more pictures will be of me. Hopefully it will boost my self-esteem or confidence, or something.

I haven't made a resolution for almost 10 years, (I must have been around 9, maybe younger) so let's just see how this goes. So far so good ^.^ Check my progress @carinadumfeh on Instagram ^.^

Unconditional love,
Cazzie x

G-D & T.O.P

So I might be having a little obsession over G-Dragon and T.O.P!

Their music and fashion, and G-D's face and voice. OMG, I'm practically falling in love. So husky and smooth at the same time. I don't know how to explain it. I just love his voice.

I read an old interview last night about how he treats girls, whether he's dating them or not. He's like the perfect guy, and doesn't think twice about being a gentleman, it's just him.

I spent the entirety of last week (with the exception of when I wasn't able to gt on YouTube) going through all of their videos together.

Can I hug him now? Just a hug? A little one...

If I could meet GD, I would either fangirl so much, or pretend not to care and explode with happiness on the inside. I mean, his perfectly chiseled cheekbones and straight nose. It's probably all make up but I don't care.

And he's so quirky. I love his fluffy black hat,it goes almost everywhere with him. Oh and most importantly, his English is amazing :D *dies from excitement*

Unconditional love,

Cazzie x

Harsh Reality

In life, we can all choose what we believe in. Either accept the lies, live in ignorance and be happy, or choose the truth.

I try both. I like to pretend to all those around me, that I believe what I'm told, be naiive, and trust people. But I don't. I know the truth, at least, most of it...

I know that I come across happy to people I know and meet, but my reality is far from similar. Someone made me realise how hard my life actually is, without realising it. "I'm so sad ... My dad lied to me ... He said he would visit last week and didn't arrive" I mean, pur-lease. That was it?! She got depressed over that?

I had a little tantrum, letting her know how easy she had it... How she was lucky to have pet names as a child, to get hugs before bed, nighttime stories. My mum claims to have done this, but I can't remember a thing like that. I remember being told "If you don't like it here, move in with your father" from a young age. My dad is leaving the continent by the end of the year, my youngest half-sister has turned into a spoilt brat, my older siblings barely saw me grossing up, I would get hit frequently, and I have never been academic enough in my dads eyes.

My life hasn't been the worst, but its definitely not the best either. I chose to try and be happy, not to let people put me down or push me around. I became stronger mentally, yeah things still get me down, and I may be bipolar, but I usually manage it. I became a brilliant actress in life, and I'm trying to be a success. I may not get to be famous, (fame was never a goal anyway) but I know I will make it. I have so much determination that its unreal. I refuse to give up, to go backwards.

That is all for now.

Life Lessons #2

Be proud of everything you have accomplished, no matter how small.

Riding a bike. Yes, some people didn't learn and it's an accomplishment. I took it for granted and was surprised when a friend was shocked that I could ride.

Exam results are something to be proud of, even if you didn't get what you wanted. When I was really young (primary school), I thought GCSEs were really hard and wanted to get all C's. When I was doing the exams, I was predicted all A*s, As and a B. I ended up with 2As, 6Bs, 2Cs, and a D. I didn't revise, so in a way I did well, but my friends did better than me. Hard work paid off for them. I actually revised for my A-levels and got D's :/ But I'm at university anyway xD. There's always a way round things if you have an ambition.

Learning another language. So I was talking to someone with English as their second language, and I would say they're better than half the people that live in Britain, but he didn't believe me and refused to say anything afterwards. The thing is, he was proud of how good he was at English until one stupid person commented that they didn't understand >.< .

Staying a virgin. The older you get, and closer to your 20's you are, the prouder I will be of you. I think I was too young at 16 and regret it (I've mentioned this somewhere before) so stay true to you, and don't let anyone take advantage. :)

Getting your first job, no matter how much you hate it. I loved my first job, but due to family problems and distance (travelling from London every weekend), I quit after 5 months. I'd love to go back there but there were no vacancies this summer, not even in the rest of the town. o.O

That's all for now, but I might think of more to add.

Be Positive

Everyone has their ups and downs, this is completely normal, but it bugs me when people are always down.

I know what its like to be depressed, and to know what it feels like being close to someone who is depressed. It's not nice knowing that someone is suffering and there's nothing you can do about it. I think I am or was bi-polar at some point in my life. For 3 years I knew when I had my up months, and my down ones which always followed shortly after. I KNOW WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT.

But it will be easier on everyone if we thought about the upside to the majority of life events. Obviously, there are times when being sad is completely acceptable and expected. Heres some examples:

• To get over a breakup, I think about all the things I found annoying or hated about the other person. It helped me get through a lot, but there were some relationships where I couldn't think of something until weeks later. Being single has its positives, as with everything in life. (I'll write some posts on single and coupled life.)

• When I feel down (as I've mentioned before), I now listen to happy music. I have a playlist for times like this too, like childhood music, upbeat songs and musicians that make me smile. I found that depressing and angry music make me feel better, but happy music did this so much quicker.

• If my family say or do something to make me upset, I shut myself in my room. But then I think about what life would be like without them. Who would have taught me to ride a bike? Could I manage living alone (yes) or without that person in my life? (no) How would I feel if they actually died? 

• If someone gets angry with you, just laugh. My foster sister attacked me once, and I proud that I didn't retaliate, but I laughed in her face. The way she clawed up her hands to scratch my face reminded me of an animal. The look in her eyes, the pure hatred and anger, I wasn't scared, so I laughed. Probably not the best idea I've ever had...

• When I got kicked out my house: at least I don't have to put up with him anymore. I didn't like the food anyway. I focused on the small things.

• No romantic relationships? I only need my friends because they're always there for me. :)

I never said this will be easy to do, and it takes practice, but you'll be a happier person. Watch the drama unfold around you, and think 'Was I really like that?' 'Gosh that's embarrassing!'

I'm Trapped!

So my sister, Iris, showed me the Korean version of this which came out two months ago, and I really liked it. Shh, don't tell her ;) She over played it and I got sick of it in a few days...

Anyway, Henry has just released the ENGLISH version of his song and now I actually love it. It's a great example of why I prefer Korean music, despite the fact that this is in english. They don't sing about drugs, sex, and the rock 'n' roll lifestyle. They sing about things we can all relate to. Take a listen :) It's so catchy, but because I know the other version so well, it took me a while to figure out what he was singing and we had to find a lyric video.

Also, check out my sister's blog with her friend Lilley* at www.sokyutelike.blogspot.co.uk for more East Asian stuff.

Haii Haii Haii

Don't you just love today? The sun, the rain and a fun day out?

"Morning. It's morning, everyone! Today's the day! The sun is shining, the tank is clean, and we are gonna get out of... (Gasp) The tank is clean. THE TANK IS CLEAN!!"
No? Well you need to look to the bright side of things :D

A lot has happened today... So today I went to London with my brother and his new girlfriend. I officially met her for the first time and I'd say she's pretty cool, which is saying something, eh? ;)

I think I'm getting a bit big headed right now xD Blame my mood >.<

Anyway, the new girlfriend is great, my older sister is still being rude and pushy (so despite what she text me, I have now done the complete opposite. Nobody tell me what to do >:D), Iris received wonderful GCSE results (I'm so proud of her), I found out where I'm living from September, and I found one of my new flatmates on Facebook. All in all, a great day.

Worst part: I still have a terrible neck ache from being ill these last few days, and Iris is at a friend's house tonight so I can't watch anything with her.


SIDENOTE: If you decide to watch Elysium (That film that was only recently released in the UK), it's pretty damn good. Just excuse the camera work ^.^

Buh baii gorgeous people xx

(I'm going insane xD)

Happy Song Lyrics ^.^

Here are some lyrics from songs I listen to, so that's my favourite songs and not just 'mainstream music' although a lot of it is.



What doesn't kill you makes you stronger,
stand a little taller,
doesn't mean I'm lonely when I'm alone. ~ Kelly Clarkson - Stronger


You just gotta ignite the light and let it shine,
Just own the night like the 4th of July,
‘Cause baby, you're a firework,
Come on, show ‘em what you're worth,
Make ‘em go, oh, oh, oh,
As you shoot across the sky ~ Katy Perry - Firework


You are beautiful no matter what they say,
Words can't bring you down....oh no,
You are beautiful in every single way,
Yes, words can't bring you down, oh, no,
So don't you bring me down today... ~ Christina Aguilera - Beautiful


The verses in Nicki Minaj's song, Moment for Life. The first verse for example:

I fly with the stars in the sky,
I am no longer trying to survive,
I believe that life is a prize,
But to live doesn't mean you're alive
Don't worry about me and who I fire,
I get what I desire, it's my empire,
And yes I call the shots, I am the umpire,
I sprinkle holy water, upon the vampire