A Little Something / University Advice and Review

I came to university to discover who I am, to procrastinate whilst accumulating a huge debt, and to find my purpose in life. This is what I've learned over the three years:

Well, we all know I'm failing terribly at my subject. I do much better at academics (somehow, considering I have the attention span of a sieve), and hate my course. I don't know if I should pursue my current aspiration of being a social worker; to help kids in the care system. This is based loosely on the experience of having a foster sister for a few years.

The debt. Why, oh why did I pick the expensive way through life?

I can't spell. In fact it's getting so bad I'm worried that I could be dyslexic. Thank goodness for spell check!

Love life: Let's not delve into the past, but embrace the, oh so confusing, present. I have a major crush on a girl in Florida... I am sleeping with my best guy friend. He doesn't want a relationship due to having major commitment issues, but I've accidentally grown to love him. THERE, I SAID IT! I can't make my heart choose, there are issues with both of them and they each know of the other and how I feel.
Then a friend confessed her crush for me over tumblr. I mean, if she told me in first year, maybe something would have happened?
And the past is an icky place.

Sometimes, I wish I had joined Mike at MU.

Happiness: as a group project, we launched ProjectHappyUK. It's our way of spreading awareness of mental wellbeing within students, who often get stressed. We also worked in partnership with UMHAN, a charity that specialises in this. We did this by making a series of videos, holding bake sales, and giving out hugs and business cards with positive messages on them.

Unfortunately, being bipolar, I have become extremely depressed. I had a very long positive period, and so I am worried about the duration and severity of this episode. It's a shame it had to happen at the end of this project, but I should have known  it would creep up on me.

Anime is a great time waster.

Coursework should not be done in the last couple of weeks, but it will be.

Decide on a final project at the beginning, not in the middle when you have no hope of changing it. (This was due to my depression, and lack of general motivation).

Friends don't last forever. But they are always there if you want to reconnect. Also, you will become close to someone during Freshers, and barely speak to them again afterwards.

First impressions are not your only chance. Heck, I told my current lover that I'm a lesbian so that nothing would happen between us, that didn't go to plan.

Being bisexual is complicated, only for explanations. Even at university, many people don't know what it is. Then again, they confuse bipolar disorder with schizophrenia.

Love comes in many forms, and even if the words are not used, there are other ways of showing it.

You pay for damn prescriptions. No more free healthcare for you.

Depending on how you manage your money, and how much you get, your student loan will be a blessing at first, before you realise how much everything costs.

During the most stressful year of university, you will probably have to work as your loan gets cut. Well done SFE, well done. With added stress, I now have less time.

You will not party as much as you thought in your following years.

Running away seems like a good idea at first, until you realise you won't have a degree until you actually finish your course by SUBMITTING EVERYTHING! You might have to repeat your last year. (Genuinely thinking of going to Europe until after my deadlines, maybe Amsterdam or Sweden.)

You will ignore all the advice blogs out there. Even this one.

Know your housemates before you move in, because finding a new place mid-term will make you enemies, and poorer, with added stress.

Costa and Starbucks are expensive if you buy them before and during every class. Stay away or make your own to bring in. Travel mugs are really cute, convenient and cheap in comparison. (They also make quirky vases if you get unexpected flowers.)

Being healthy isn't easy, but buying ingredients instead of ready made meals will MAKE you healthier.

Graduation will be worth all the hard work and stress. And university is a lot more fun than the working world (at least the first two years are).

This was really long so I'll stop now. I seem to have moved on from what I was originally going to write, but that's just how my brain works. Oh, go follow me on tumblr now :) details in the top right.

Unconditional love,

Cazzie x 

Introducing: Project Happy UK

As a follow up from my previous post, I want to share with you the first video we produced as part of Project Happy.

We currently have a blog set up, with tips on getting through uni, and dealing with stress, among many future topics we will cover in relation to mental wellbeing. You can find it at www.projecthappyuk.wordpress.com  where Sarah and Katharine post weekly on Sundays. (I used real names for once).
We also have a twitter and instagram set up, both with the usernames @projecthappyuk.
Please follow and support us, if you have any suggestions, we will be sure to look into them and see what we can do. You can email us at: projecthappyuk@gmail.com

Thank you as always.
Unconditional love,
Cazzie x

There's a Mouse in the House!

I know what I saw.
I don't know what I saw.

It was dark.
I had just turned on the light.
The faint glow ever so slowly getting brighter.
I turn to put my plate on the counter.
I see a shadow.
I see it scurrying.
It turns back towards the oven.
It pokes it's head around the blender.
Its little black beady eyes.
I blink.
It's gone.
I walk back, in panic.

I tell my housemates. Stammering.
The words aren't real.
This can't be real.
"There's- There's a mouse. I saw a mouse. In the kitchen..."
They're in denial.
"You're seeing things. You were hearing things last week too." I'm told.
I don't believe it.
Maybe I didn't see a mouse.
But maybe I did.

I still refuse to wash up, in case it is back.
I'll wash my dishes when it is daylight again.


I know this isn't how I normally blog. But it had to be done. This happened shortly after dinner today, I saw it as I went to get more food. As you can probably guess, I've hidden myself in my room until morning. Actual morning. And I'm so hungry...I've only eaten breakfast and dinner today. Both were small meals. I'm such a greedy pig, haha xD.

Unconditional love and stay safe from vermin,
Cazzie x

DRAMAtical Murder

I... I... How do I explain this?

Is the title relevant? Vaguely.
Was it good? God YES.

This anime follows the life of one particular character, Aoba Seragaki, a few years after a tragic accident. He lost his memories but still appears to continue his life as normal. He has a pet Allmate, Ren, who accompanies him everywhere, and a series of friends who seem to know more than they let on. Raised by his witty Gran, Aoba isn't as normal as everyone around him, but he doesn't realise that all his friends seem to have secret lives too.

If you can get past the strange names, ie, Clear, Noiz, Virus, then you should at least give this a try. I watched it with my sister and she got confused in the first few episodes but I found it pretty self-explanatory.

Ok, so this anime had so much potential and I really did love it. There's a bit of intrigue and mystery to keep you hooked. Unusual characters crop up and have great backstories (like, seriously? I don't think any of the main characters can be called normal). And this is what I loved. But the last 2 episodes crammed so much into them, the season should have been a bit longer. And the ending :O I hadn't played the game and reading the comments literally explained the last few minutes of the anime for me. Honestly, the last episode ruined it for me, but that shouldn't put you off watching it. It actually answers questions, unlike some seasons I have watched.

Best thing is, I've heard there is a second season coming out soon, so maybe that won't rush the ending. Anyway, it's taken me 3 days to attempt to write this and I really should get on with my university work (the last year is so intensive and I intend to keep on top of things even better than last year).

Unconditional love,
Cazzie x

Blood Lad

Arrgh, I've taken so long to write this review that I forgot about it, hahaha.

Do you like anime? Do you like japanese culture? Of course you do :) ! Now... do you like humans, obsess over them? Mayyyybe....
You may be just like Staz then, the protagonist of this anime. Staz is a vampire, not the twinkle in sunlight kind, the original blood sucking, nocturnal kind.
Fuyumi is a human. See where this is going? Does Staz fall head over heels in love with the human girl and marry her to have little human-vampire babies? Or does he turn her into a vampire? Neither really.

Episode 1: Fuyumi enters the demon world by mistake, where she meets Staz. Staz, being completely obsessed with humans, vows to protect her while escorting her back to the human world and asking a billion questions about life there. However, there's a territory war going on outside and Staz is forced to defend his place. That's when the invader manages to kill Fuyumi. Staz returns to his room and finds her remains and clothing, along with a giant deadly plant. This is where Staz finds the ghost of Fuyumi and vows to bring her back to life.

Proceed with the rest of the series. If you like vampires, werewolves, annoying siblings who literally want to kill you, and fight scenes, this may be for you. This is actually light-hearted, with many puns and jokes to contrast with the apparent dark nature this is based on. Seriously though, doesn't the above sound a bit like a horror movie? But the clueless nature of some of the characters make it hard not to laugh.

Fuyumi and Staz. Are these glasses fashionable yet?

And don't worry, there are plenty of large breasts for you pervs out there ;3 I have you covered. Did I mention that a vampire and werewolf are best friends? :O I know right, this definitely isn't Twilight. I think I should shut up now.

Unconditional love,
Cazzie x

K

What is this, Cazzie? Why is there a random letter for a title? Where have you been?

I have been under the recent pressure of finding a house to live in so that I can return to university later this month. Hence not uploading any more reviews (that, and I currently have 3/4 ongoing series to watch that are not yet completed and will all finish around the time I start classes again). I had a guarantor for a house, my papa, but he failed the checks due to 'circumstances unrelated to money'. Like really? He's a landlord and, even out of the country, still earns enough to cover my rent if needs be. But, whatever...

Now to answer the second question, well, second... 'K' is not just some random letter. Yes, it may be near the middle of the alphabet, or used to express that something is 'okay' but that is not why it is posted. IT'S TIME FOR.... (drumroll please).... ANOTHER ANIME REVIEW!

*      *      *      *      *

Meet Yashiro 'Shiro' Isana.

Firstly, can an anime title get any more ambiguous? I didn't see one letter 'K' floating around, nor did they mention it in the series. This series has two alternative titles as well, very similar in nature though: Project K and K Project. This makes a little more sense further into the 13 episode series.

It follows the protagonist over roughly a week of his life, in which he finds out that he is soon to be killed. What is doesn't know is; what for? Once he does find out that it is for the murder of another person, he barters for his life on several occasions, buying more time. This proves difficult with highly reliable evidence and more than one person or group wanting to take his life. However, for a fairly popular person at school, proving an alibi gets increasingly difficult as more and more students forget about him. The more he thinks about and questions his life, the more things get complicated.

If this wasn't hard enough for any viewer to understand, in come the other characters. There are 7 clans, each with their own king, a ranking, specific traits and a colour (only six are mentioned or shown which leaves one clan and king completely unknown). Oh, and these clans do not work together with or for the human race (as humans do not know about them), but against each other, having battles and wars often and with mixed reactions. So, imagine having two clans after Shiro, one to presumably lock him up, and the other to take his life.

Neko

Kuroh Yatogami

But, it's time to also meet two other important characters, Kuroh and Neko. Neko is, you guessed it, a cat. I mean, if you like having cats turn into naked human girls, I'm not judging ;3 Oh, and she sees Shiro as her pet, not the other way around...
Kuroh is not only dark in name, but seemingly in nature too. A relentless fighter who is creepily attached to his king.



As much as I loved this series, (I'm a bit ill today, not sick but in pain, so this is when I watched it), there are some flaws. I took a little while to get certain aspects of it, I think it was episode 9 or 10 when my sister mentioned Neko's real reason for being around, but I didn't get it until after they had explained it on screen.
One character reminded me of Hitler, even though I believe this is set in a different world to our own. There was a scene set in the past, Berlin, and they spoke in German, running experiments which ran into the line; 'superhuman race'. Oh, and his first name is Adolf.

I really did enjoy this series, found some parts funny either due to the comedy or because it would remind me of something else. I just don't know what took me so long to hear about and watch this. Once again, any reviews I write are my recommendations and you should take a look too. I don't write negative reviews because that would mean I dislike something, and I don't watch things I dislike. This series borders on dark anime, and for some reason, that's all I'm watching this season. I did have more criticisms for the end, but I forgot (can't be that bad then, right?) so if I remember, I'll post them later and at the end. Have a great time.

Unconditional love,
Cazzie x

You know when...

...you have a really good day, and then someone does something small that ruins it completely?

Yeah, my mum (what a surprise) did just that. I had a perfectly good day going on, I got a call back from the job I really want this summer, and even though its a small thing, she kept looking at my laptop. I mean, if I wanted to show you what's on my screen, I would do.

Now, this is what makes her a hypocrite; she always told me off for being nosey as a child (I would ask lots of questions) but she went one step farther and looked round to my screen. Rude, or what?

Yes I know I have mother issues, I don't really like her as a person anymore, so I'll shut up now.

Unconditional love,

Cazzie x 

Homeless?

So I went  home on Tuesday to look for jobs and see my mum... I was in the house half an hour, before the arguing started. In fact, it started when I got in after a terrible previous couple of days, plus little sleep. I shouted quite a bit, and left saying that I won't be back for summer. I basically told my mum some truths that have been bugging me for a few years.

So, with no where to to go over summer, unless I contemplate suicide living there again, I decided to contact my missing father. He's rented out his house while away, and well, he hasn't gotten back to me about his other properties yet. :( Seriously, what does being 'daddy's favourite' get you? Nothing, that's what.

I could live with a couple of friends over summer, but that makes it harder for finding a job, especially if I keep skipping cities between the south coast and the midlands. This will be a long 3/4 months of summer. My friend also cannot afford a deposit yet for our flat in London, the plan is to move in during September.

But I believe things will work out, somehow. Gotta keep positive, I have two weeks...

Unconditional love,
Cazzie x

Exams and Deadlines

Coursework

I'm terrible. I have so much work to do now that I haven't even had time to watch anime, review it or generally blog. It's the time of the year where I'm extremely busy but not doing anything interesting.

Coursework rubbish.

I will keep you updated when I'm free again. I have a final exam on the 20th but after that I'm free so I should be able to write more.

Haii, I got bored :P

I love you all for reading this, truly.

Unconditional love,
Cazzie x

I'm Not THAT Funny

So a pigeon just sat on my table and all I did was point at it and say "No". Everyone around me laughed...

RIP Peaches Geldof

It's true, and I've just heard of it.

I remember watching a documentary on her a few years back and sort of admired Peaches. She was funny, had a career and didn't seem to care what people thought. She was herself.

I guess this just goes to show how short life can be, she left behind two beautiful young children and she will be missed. At just 25, her whole life was ahead of her...

Unconditional love,
Cazzie x

Annoying

Ok, so I had to tell someone and explain to them that I am bisexual, yet mostly lesbian. He's a guy. Then his first question was "Do you find me attractive?" I'm sorry, but if I tell you that I'm a lesbian, what makes you think I'll find you attractive?

No lie. This was today.

I always find it really awkward to answer. I mean, are you stupid and will I actually hurt your feelings?
Anyway, some people are easier to tell, and they know. But the ones I'm closest to and don't suspect a thing, the ones where I think they will judge me and where I actually care what they think, they don't know.

Emily and Maya in PLL.

Unconditional love,

Cazzie x

Body Image

I know I will probably get some hate over this, but I don't really care. These are my opinions and should not be taken too seriously.

Like most girls my age, I grew up playing with Barbie dolls, so my views on beauty are probably as messed up as society, BUT I don't think you need to be stick thin to be perfect. Or as near to perfect as a person can be.

I have one rule on being 'slim' and that is to not allow my stomach to be bigger than my breasts. It used to be as a child, not because I was fat, but because I didn't eat right. I looked like the malnourished children in Africa, that they show on tv. Just, not as severe. I grew up with a little piece of advice I read in a magazine at 12, which was a simple way of toning your stomach. This is basically sucking it in or tensing it whenever you walk somewhere, and only relaxing when seated or laying down. Simple enough, right? Trust me, it works. I had the tightest stomach out my my friends who didn't work out.

Later in life (aged 18) I finally joined the gym. I was going to join at a much younger age (15) but the joining fees were high and my dad didn't think I would stick to it so wouldn't pay up. My best friend, however, became obsessed with losing weight. We started off at the same size, UK 8-10, but within a year, she became smaller than me while my breasts increased causing me to buy larger tops (that's my excuse anyway). So now I join the gym for 3 months at a time, and have a couple of months off during the university holidays. I got more toned, and my breasts shrunk to a C/D cup. Whoo, I can buy size 10 tops again xD.

Barbie vs average person

That was completely off topic. I was going to go on about how fat people shouldn't let themselves get like that. Like, if you have wings instead of arms, can't fit through the tube doors (small end-of-carriage doors), or have difficulty walking and breathing, you have a major problem. If you are my version of 'slim', I don't care if you're size 8 or 16, you're beautiful. Screw Barbie and her ideas of being plastic. Just don't get so small that you look like a twig that I could snap with two fingers...

Unconditional love,
Cazzie x

(I might do a part two of me actually ranting about this issue.)

Don't You Get It?

Just a little rant/story of today.

So I was in university (as usual) and this guy in my lecture spoke to me between that and our seminar, and we ended up buying a smoothie down the road. He paid for it and everything, but the longer I spoke to him, the more I thought he was into me..
We got back in the building and had ten minutes to spare, so we spoke some more. He was thrilled to find out about where my family come from, and his family is from a neighboring country. Then we somehow spoke about the 'guys' I'm into. I never outright said that I'm not currently into guys (and maybe I should have), but I did mention Korea and Japan a lot. Then he invited me out for dinner Thursday. Now, I'm used to just going out for dinner with friends casually, so I agreed.

I'm pretty sure everyone knows about my love for G Dragon.

We went to our respective rooms and I later saw him on my way back from lunch. The hugged me and went to (I assume) kiss my lips but I moved so he caught my cheek. He checked that I would text him later today (whoops, I forgot until I typed that), and we left at that as he was going home, and I had work to go through.

This gets me thinking. If I say I'm *only* into East Asian Guys (exclude girls for a second), and you're half Jew/ half African, then I'm not interested.

Also, is this now a date?!

I'm so clueless about these things..

Unconditional love,
Cazzie x

Last Post of the Month :O

This is going to be pointless...

Buuuuut, that means that pancake day is only four days away ^.^ And I cannot wait.

I personally do not like American Style pancakes.. I guess I'm just used to home made British ones. Although, I've never actually made the American ones and I probably just don't like shop bought stuffs. Yes, I wrote 'stuffs'.

My favourite topping is Kaya sauce, which is some Thai sweet coconut thing I found from the waffle man in China Town (my third home). It's delicious, and I only know of the one shop that sells it... (Need to buy some more...)
Other great toppings are; lemon and sugar, jam, golden syrup and fruit, among others. Just anything sweet. ^.^

Enjoy yet another day that is supposed to be religious but now revolves around food. ^.^

Unconditional love,
Cazzie x

Dungarees!!

These have to make a comeback this season. I mean, who doesn't love them?

So I bought a pair in the Christmas sales in New Look, and I've noticed that they still have styles in store at full price. I've been addicted to dungarees for years, I have always loved them.
Some guy stopped me in the street yesterday, just to say that he loved them. We just chatted about how they should make a comeback this season, and wondered if they would suit him.

Like the first image.

This season, when the sun comes out with some warmth, I'm going to be wearing my dungarees rolled up a little, with a crop top. And white Converse of course. I adore my Converse, so if I can find an outfit that goes with them, I will wear it.

Oh, full length dungarees of course, the short ones just look like playsuit imitations... But dungarees can be worn in many different ways to show cute sides, and tomboy ones. It's all in the accessories and other clothing you choose.

I don't think I should ever do a fashion blog...

Unconditional love,
Cazzie x

P.S. If you find some skinny jean style dungarees, let me know because I really want some. Especially the high waisted ones. <3

Anime

Do I watch too much anime? Well..... Is there such a thing? ;3

Probably. This is procrastination at its best. And considering the amount of work I have to do, this list is a bit much. Since starting back at uni at the beginning of the month, I have watched:
Pandora Hearts
Yumikui Merry
Special A
Mayo Chiki
Kaichou wa Maid-sama!
Mirai Nikki
Spiral: Suiri no Kizuna
Loveless
11eyes

Yumekui Merry

Special A - Sakura

Spiral

Loveless

11eyes

And I tried watching:
Starry Sky
To Love-Ru
Moonphase
Maria Holic
MM!
Yuru Yuri

So um... Maybe I started these around Christmas actually, the list seems a bit long for two weeks... Make that almost two months. :) And these are what I actually remember, my laptop history doesn't seem to go back very far...

How do you procrastinate? Do you watch anime too?

Unconditional love,
Cazzie x

CHERRY BAKEWELLS!!!

WHY DO YOU DO THIS TO ME?! WHY?!

Oh, so I have this craving. To these:


And well, I can't have one. Not just because I haven't bought any in years, but because I'm allergic. Yes, that's right. Allergic to a craving. >.<

I have a nut allergy. Most specifically to hazelnuts, cashews and I forgot the other one, but over the years, it's gotten worse. The smell of peanuts sets off my allergies, and a couple of years ago, this delicious treat gave me a reaction.

Has this happened to any of you before? Do you have allergies and then one day, you want something that has this product in it?

Over the Christmas holidays (my stupidly long 2 months off uni holidays), I craved carrot cake. And well, most shop bought carrot cakes have walnuts in. And the ones without nuts, had currants. (I wanted PURE carrot cake. No hidden extras.) Walnuts aren't officially on my list, but I stay away from all nuts as I don't want the risk. (And I refused to renew my epipen...)

So yeah.. Let me know.

Unconditional love,
Cazzie x

Life Lessons #7

Plan your time wisely.

So I have this essay to write. It was given to me on Monday. It is now Sunday and I have only just realised it was there. I don't even understand the slides given to me, I don't own any of the essential reading books (seriously, who has £150 to spend on 6 books I may not understand?) and the podcast isn't much help either. NOTE: THIS IS MY FIRST WEEK OF THE SEMESTER.

I don't know anyone on my course yet (it's that odd module I picked up this semester, with a different year group of people) so I can't even ask for help.

The lesson here is to prepare yourself at university. I knew this but ignored it, and now look at me, I'm procrastinating by writing this post. As soon as you get a piece of work, read it and find out what you have to do. That way, you won't get any nasty surprises, and you know how much time to spend on it. If you then decide to leave it to that last minutes, not my problem. You had the time to seek help. Me? I should have checked all this on Monday or earlier in the week in order to seek help. To even have time to go to the library... Anyway, I'll live with the consequences and will remember for next week (where I need to write another essay in preparation).

Unconditional love,
Cazzie x

Perspective

So I was sitting there in the bar and this guy comes up to me and he said "My life stinks" and I saw his gold credit card and I saw the way he was looking at people across the room and I looked at his face and you know, what a good looking face, and I just said, "Dude, your perspective on life sucks". ~ Mika, Blame it on the Girls.

Every situation can be perceived in different ways by different people. And Mika makes a very good point in the beginning of this song. No matter how much you have, you can see the down-side, yet you can always see the best in bad situations. Try and be grateful for what you do have, instead of wishing you have what you don't. 'My life sucks' and 'FML' (back in my day) are thrown around way too much. 

I went back to my old town today, and well, everyone looked so miserable. My mum was driving, and we burst into laughter creating lives for the sad people and laughing at them. We probably looked crazy together, but laughing is so good for you. Especially as I actually saw the sun for the first time in ages. 'I swear she was glaring at the man crossing the road. Nahh, actually she was glaring at me. She hates me laughing.' Just silly things like that. People seem to get more jealous(?) and sad when they see others enjoying life. But I don't care what they think, I was singing in the shops, laughing at everything, jumped up and down in excitement over some doughnuts (my town doesn't seem to stock them ANYWHERE at the moment) and just enjoying life. We laughed at my mum screaming 'Flood!' everytime she saw a large puddle in the road, as if the cars behind could hear her warning.

Basically, enjoy the little things, and happiness will follow. I know this sounds too easy to be true, but it works for me (most of the time ;3).

Unconditional love, 

Cazzie x