Last Post of the Month :O

This is going to be pointless...

Buuuuut, that means that pancake day is only four days away ^.^ And I cannot wait.

I personally do not like American Style pancakes.. I guess I'm just used to home made British ones. Although, I've never actually made the American ones and I probably just don't like shop bought stuffs. Yes, I wrote 'stuffs'.

My favourite topping is Kaya sauce, which is some Thai sweet coconut thing I found from the waffle man in China Town (my third home). It's delicious, and I only know of the one shop that sells it... (Need to buy some more...)
Other great toppings are; lemon and sugar, jam, golden syrup and fruit, among others. Just anything sweet. ^.^

Enjoy yet another day that is supposed to be religious but now revolves around food. ^.^

Unconditional love,
Cazzie x

Beauty

I'm pretty sure I've posted this before but I can't find it.

Beauty is all around us, in nature, in design and in people. I'm not talking about physical beauty today though.

A person can be beautiful on the inside by the things he or she does and says. It can be their passion for a hobby. It can be the way they talk to people. Afterall, 'actions speak louder than words'. And 'beauty is in the eye of the beholder'.

Basically, someone out there will love your ideals, and find you beautiful. If someone can love you and go past your looks, you're on to a winner. Everyone is beautiful in different ways, and no amount of make-up will change true beauty. Just be yourself. <3

Unconditional love,
Cazzie x

Happy New Year - Part 2

Happy New Year (again)!!

Do any of you have any New Years Resolutions? You know, the whole 'new year, new me' sort of thing?
How about keeping it simple 'I will be nicer to my parents'.

My half one is to take more selfies. I looked through my Instagram a couple of weeks ago, and realised that most of my stuff is boring and either food or random things that no one would find interesting at all. So I decided at that point (before Christmas), that more pictures will be of me. Hopefully it will boost my self-esteem or confidence, or something.

I haven't made a resolution for almost 10 years, (I must have been around 9, maybe younger) so let's just see how this goes. So far so good ^.^ Check my progress @carinadumfeh on Instagram ^.^

Unconditional love,
Cazzie x

Bored?

Are you stuck in a rut? Have nothing to do right now or over the next few weeks/months? Need another way to procrastinate/ put things off? Have little or no money to do anything?

Here's a little list of suggestions you could do ;)

• Make a hat for your pet
• Grow a beard
• Popcorn face
• Punch noodles
• Face masks out of random food
• Wear a pet as a hat / scarf
• Make a beer smoothie
• Make a fruit smoothie
• Draw something (Literally, or you could play the game)
• Turn yourself into a tree/zombie/cat (face paints and costumes)
• Be an aeroplane (Airplane for those not in Britain)
• Dye your hair (not the best thing I have ever come up with)
• Read a book
• Write a story/poem/song
• Join a random website and use it everyday for a week
• Text everyone on your phone saying "Let's make a llama out of rainbows and paint the sea orange whilst dressed as Ninja Turtles :D".
• Invent a sport and teach your family
• Teach someone a card game but don't tell them the rules for each card (play it like uno to start with then the winner makes up and new rule by giving it a name but not telling anyone what it is) I swear this is more fun than it sounds.
• Draw or write something nice for all your neighbours and post it to them.
• Be bi-curious for the day
• Start a blog
• Swap houses with a friend or relative for the day/week to see if you can cope living in their shoes.
• Pretend to be drunk in public (I don't want you lovelies getting arrested)
• Picnic in your local park/beach.
• Be a tourist in your own town for the day
• Visit somewhere new, but is fairly close
• Learn something new (how to cook, make something, a strange fact)
• Annoy your family in a pleasant way (being overly nice or polite)
• Say 'please' instead of 'thank you' and vice versa

So I hope you like this list. If you want to add anything more to it, just comment below :) These ones are a bit strange...

This Is Becoming Daily....

I didn't intend to start posting every single day but well, my life is getting less boring. I need a job :( At least, just for summer or something.

Today was eventful, I won't go into details but let's just say that some things were said, I got kicked three times, had juice poured over me and then had both my necklaces ripped off so they broke :'(. In the end, I threw the kids phone out my bedroom window...

Why is is always gifts that are destroyed?  First my birthday dress was cut up and bleached, and now the cross I was given by an uncle I never see when I was eight, a camera necklace my friend bought for my last birthday, and the playsuit I got for the birthday before (I was wearing before today's incident, then I had to shower again and change).

Why can't my 'vacation from uni' be peaceful, or fun, instead of stressful and broken?

Respect

So, I have this foster sister, and let's call her Gemma. Now Gemma is a difficult girl. She's 15 years old, but with the mind and body of a child of no more than 10. Heck my youngest sister (who doesn't live with me) is 11 and is physically and mentally more mature.

As I sit here tonight, I realise (not for the first time) that she has no respect for my mum. My mum is a lovely person, but she is getting ill with something that causes immense amounts of pain and no cure. Gemma has no respect for everything my mum has done for her. Gemma's dad left her to look after his mum in London, and my mum took her in so that she didn't need to change to a third secondary school. The nan has since passed on and the dad has no obvious intention to move back and look after her again. Social services got involved at some point and moved her to three or four foster parents, each lasting not much longer than a month, before bringing her back here. Long story short, my mum has looked after her for almost two years (with interruptions) and Gemma is a horrible child. We have changed everything about us to accommodate her, my mum has fallen out with friend's because of her behaviour, I've changed bedrooms three times, we now eat junk food (well I never did but it seems to be the only thing mum buys now because Gemma isn't healthy), I quit my job because I hated coming home to this place, and we even have to make sure someone is home all the time just in case she leaves school early (walks out during the day) or comes home randomly because we don't trust her with a key.

THE MAIN BIT.
If a person has the patience and love to take you in when no one else would or could, should you not show them some respect by behaving? Don't get me wrong, she's had a tough upbringing, but then so have a lot of us. She cries thinking that it's her fault everything is like it is (her dad says so, but he abused her so...), she screams, shouts, starts arguments for no reason, yet when I finish them, I get in trouble because I'm older, stronger and shouldn't lower myself to her level. I know I'm not perfect but I know that I've never been as bad as her.
Let's put this in perspective. This girl doesn't listen and is constantly trying to make us feel bad, to make her feel better. I came back from uni in mid-June and I have considered leaving home three times since then. THAT'S ABOUT ONCE EVERY ONE OR TWO WEEKS! I just have no where to go myself. I because depressed again after being fine for the duration of being at uni. I get stressed and really short tempered.

Now there's a meeting this week to see if she stays or goes (and if I get my dress replaced that she bleached and cut up). Fingers crossed that she goes... Or is better behaved, I don't mind either.

The Last 12 Hours... (at the time...)

I'm going to try to keep this short.. :)

This all happened about a week or two ago, on the 14th. My cousin, John*, had been staying over for the past week and my friend decided to go out in London for her birthday. I don't live in London when I'm away from uni so we decided to catch the bus, a train to London Victoria and then a tube to West Ham (where we started the night). So the first bit was all fun and dandy, just a lot of talking about the past and present, how things are different from where I live and where he lives. We left my house at 7pm.
Then we got on the underground. As soon as the doors closed behind us, there was no escape. The stench was vile, a mixture of sick and possibly urine. A strawberry blonde haired boy sat in the corner next to the door, head down and small stains of puke on the sleeves of his suit/uniform. The look of disgust from other passengers, the whispering around the carriage, the way people would cover their noses and mouths with scarfs and hands. At every passing stop, I asked John if we could change carriage, it was making me feel nauseous and we still had 11 stops to go, 10, 9, 8... He thought it was funny just watching everyone's reactions to the obvious situation. When he finally got off at a station, about 4 stops before our own, we noticed that on the inside of his trousers, was an oozing brown substance we could only imagine as the faeces.
Skip forward a few hours, arriving at my friend's house a little after 9pm, and we start drinking. Meeting up with some more friends from uni, and leave my friend's house at 11pm-ish.
Skip again to when the club closes (what happened inside is just typical and I don't want to bore you with the details) at 4am. We get outside and need to decide if we are staying in London or going back to mine. At 4.30am, we decide to make our way back to London Victoria. I get out my phone, and it takes us past Trafalgar Square, St. James' Park, Buckingham Palace, all whilst still a little drunk.
We managed to get to Victoria all in one piece, bought more tickets to get home, waited around for a loooooooooooooooong time and caught two trains to get to Gatwick Airport. I haven't been to the Airport in a long time and I usually go with my Dad who knows his way around pretty easily. John and I got lost, and circled it at least twice before finding the exit for the buses.
We eventually got home again, and I unlocked my door at 7am.

IT REALLY WAS AN EVENTFUL 12 HOURS :D


* John is not actually his name but who cares. Oh, and the most exciting things happen when John comes over.
I know I rushed the last bit but, who cares :P.