I don't know why I do this to myself.

Yeah, the title is a bit long..

Anyway, I'm doing this photography project based on graveyards, and I also have to produce a book from it. But that isn't the problem. As it is a delicate area which I thought I had overcome, I wanted it to be a small, intimate book. One of my tutors has other ideas...

This is what I want to make. Different cover of course.

The death of Aaron used to bring tears all the time, and two and a half years later, I thought I could think of him without crying. Until this project. For the purposes of making the book personal, I am having to dig up all the old things I wrote around the time of his death and it brings up the emotions with it.

I am still finalising some details for my pin up on Wednesday, but I am on track with MY idea. I took on this idea because it is close to my heart, to show that as I was going through this tough time, I cleared my mind with time and writing things down. Re-living the memories I had with him, talking with people that knew us both. I found comfort in my friends and they things we wrote together, and this book is to be a gentle reminder. If I can make it so that other people  are moved by its contents, then I have done a good job.

There was really no point for this post, right? :/

Unconditional love,
Cazzie x

CHERRY BAKEWELLS!!!

WHY DO YOU DO THIS TO ME?! WHY?!

Oh, so I have this craving. To these:


And well, I can't have one. Not just because I haven't bought any in years, but because I'm allergic. Yes, that's right. Allergic to a craving. >.<

I have a nut allergy. Most specifically to hazelnuts, cashews and I forgot the other one, but over the years, it's gotten worse. The smell of peanuts sets off my allergies, and a couple of years ago, this delicious treat gave me a reaction.

Has this happened to any of you before? Do you have allergies and then one day, you want something that has this product in it?

Over the Christmas holidays (my stupidly long 2 months off uni holidays), I craved carrot cake. And well, most shop bought carrot cakes have walnuts in. And the ones without nuts, had currants. (I wanted PURE carrot cake. No hidden extras.) Walnuts aren't officially on my list, but I stay away from all nuts as I don't want the risk. (And I refused to renew my epipen...)

So yeah.. Let me know.

Unconditional love,
Cazzie x

Beauty

I'm pretty sure I've posted this before but I can't find it.

Beauty is all around us, in nature, in design and in people. I'm not talking about physical beauty today though.

A person can be beautiful on the inside by the things he or she does and says. It can be their passion for a hobby. It can be the way they talk to people. Afterall, 'actions speak louder than words'. And 'beauty is in the eye of the beholder'.

Basically, someone out there will love your ideals, and find you beautiful. If someone can love you and go past your looks, you're on to a winner. Everyone is beautiful in different ways, and no amount of make-up will change true beauty. Just be yourself. <3

Unconditional love,
Cazzie x

Happy New Year - Part 2

Happy New Year (again)!!

Do any of you have any New Years Resolutions? You know, the whole 'new year, new me' sort of thing?
How about keeping it simple 'I will be nicer to my parents'.

My half one is to take more selfies. I looked through my Instagram a couple of weeks ago, and realised that most of my stuff is boring and either food or random things that no one would find interesting at all. So I decided at that point (before Christmas), that more pictures will be of me. Hopefully it will boost my self-esteem or confidence, or something.

I haven't made a resolution for almost 10 years, (I must have been around 9, maybe younger) so let's just see how this goes. So far so good ^.^ Check my progress @carinadumfeh on Instagram ^.^

Unconditional love,
Cazzie x

I Miss Home

So Christmas season is upon us, and I am yet to go home and celebrate with my family even though university is over. I miss my bedroom so much, and the past couple of months have been too eventful, (I know I said I would post everything, but I haven't revealed the full story yet) but I wanted to share a couple of images of my room with you.

 I'm almost Japanese, haha. These are the kanji for 'star', 'water' and 'love'. I know the words seem an odd combination, but these are what I was taught at a japanese festival and my first ever attempt at writing kanji. The brush strokes may be a bit off, but if I keep practicing, I should get better. And I always have my japanese friend to help me :)

This is my name in katakana. It can be written two ways, and mine is supposed to have an extra symbol to show that the 'ri' part of my name is slightly longer, so Carina becomes 'カリーナ' and the 'i' is pronounced slightly longer than in my image. I just love how japanese is written, and so I have these in my bedroom to remind me of how happy east asians always are. They're always smiling, I don't think I've ever seen one sad.

This is all for now, I may show more snippets of my room later on (when I get bored).

Unconditional love,
Cazzie x

This is AMAZING!!!

So a couple of days ago, I found this and thought that I must share it with you.

There's a Korean photographer/artist called Jee Young Lee who creates wonderful scenes from her tiny studio room.

Each scene can take up to months to create, but I'm sure you'll think the time is worth it.

What's better is that she does not use Photoshop at all with any of these photographs. That's rare these days.

There are loads more if you just Google her name. So what do you think? Is the effort worth it?

I sure think so.

Unconditional love,
Cazzie x

University #2

I think I managed to get the Freshers' Flu, which sucks. According to my mum I got it last year as well, but she thinks it's because of the change of area, and my body doesn't know how to cope with a higher quantity of things I'm allergic to.

This is my first sober day of the week (yesterday doesn't count because I was hungover), and friends and flatmates still want to do something tonight. I feel dead... I have gone out too much, making up for all those lost days during Summer. :)

We had a cross dressing dare in spin the bottle, and I must say that the guys don't look too bad xD Not as good as Koreans, but on the way.

 

MIKA!

So last December I went to see Mika live for the first time, at the Roundhouse in London. Ever since I have been obsessed with his music, and OH MY GOSH, he is so cuuute.

Mika is unbelievably energetic and it was hard to get a good photo of him as he moved around so much. I took over 400 images in total and yet less than 200 were decent..

My favourite all time song by Mika is 'Love You When I'm Drunk'. I don't know why but the beginning sounds sort of Christmassy and I just really like it.

 Please don't take these images as an example of my photographic work, that can be found in another blog post (I will post the link here). All in all, it was a wonderful time and made me so obsessed over time that I am listening to him on shuffle and repeat right now.

Mika's music is really good if you're feeling down and want to listen to something other than the depressing or 'normal' songs. His style whilst singing and dressing is always impeccable, yet he looks so comfortable.

I just wish he wasn't gay :(