This Is Strange..

I am finding less and less people attractive. Ok, that came out wrong.

What I mean is, I still find people attractive, but I don't find myself attracted to them. Make sense?
Take, Dan Howell for example. He has the cutest dimples, he is attractive and is usually the type of guy I would like.

G Dragon. From the beginning I have felt something. It's not necessarily physical but I love the way he looks. I'm contradicting myself too much... But with both of these guys, I want to hug them. In the past, I would fantasize about what it would be like to be in a relationship with them. Now I only think of friendship. Nothing more.

Now there's this girl I like. We text all the time and she's so adorably cute. Yes I want to be with her, but I can't tell if it's physical or not. I think about her all the time, but I want to leave it a while before we go any further because I don't want to find that we're better as friends, or I don't actually have these feelings... Every relationship requires some physical attraction (a mistake I made several times in the past), but underneath that, there has to be a connection.

I think I might just be a lesbian. I've always liked girls, but I have had crushes on guys too. But recently 'guy friends' have been putting me off them, by getting too close to me. By trying to be close, it's pushing me away. Oh, and I never came out to my parents... So this could be interesting if we date.

I don't even know what this post is anymore. Just a little bit of venting I guess.

Unconditional love,
Cazzie x

Perspective

So I was sitting there in the bar and this guy comes up to me and he said "My life stinks" and I saw his gold credit card and I saw the way he was looking at people across the room and I looked at his face and you know, what a good looking face, and I just said, "Dude, your perspective on life sucks". ~ Mika, Blame it on the Girls.

Every situation can be perceived in different ways by different people. And Mika makes a very good point in the beginning of this song. No matter how much you have, you can see the down-side, yet you can always see the best in bad situations. Try and be grateful for what you do have, instead of wishing you have what you don't. 'My life sucks' and 'FML' (back in my day) are thrown around way too much. 

I went back to my old town today, and well, everyone looked so miserable. My mum was driving, and we burst into laughter creating lives for the sad people and laughing at them. We probably looked crazy together, but laughing is so good for you. Especially as I actually saw the sun for the first time in ages. 'I swear she was glaring at the man crossing the road. Nahh, actually she was glaring at me. She hates me laughing.' Just silly things like that. People seem to get more jealous(?) and sad when they see others enjoying life. But I don't care what they think, I was singing in the shops, laughing at everything, jumped up and down in excitement over some doughnuts (my town doesn't seem to stock them ANYWHERE at the moment) and just enjoying life. We laughed at my mum screaming 'Flood!' everytime she saw a large puddle in the road, as if the cars behind could hear her warning.

Basically, enjoy the little things, and happiness will follow. I know this sounds too easy to be true, but it works for me (most of the time ;3).

Unconditional love, 

Cazzie x

Boring Update ;3

So I finally took that exam on Wednesday (15th) and it went pretty well. Although I'm scared to look back at my notes incase I missed something and dread results day... This is what revision did to me :(

I've postposed my Christmas project from uni and finally took out some books from the library today, although I'm not entirely sure what I'm supposed to do with them haha. It's based on Ansel Adams, thats all you need to know. If I like any of my images, I'll post them here. I have to 'carry him around with me' like a best friend. I mean, who carries their friends? :P I have two weeks left...

And I've been getting really bored with my hair lately, so I'm wearing my extensions more often. Admittedly I wear them with a hat too as I'm loving the combination. I need more hair dyes so I can change my look even more haha. (I use wash out hair dye, and at the moment I only have pink, but I found this shop that does them quite cheaply instead of having to order them online and pay delivery.)

Unconditional love,

Cazzie x 

University #2

I think I managed to get the Freshers' Flu, which sucks. According to my mum I got it last year as well, but she thinks it's because of the change of area, and my body doesn't know how to cope with a higher quantity of things I'm allergic to.

This is my first sober day of the week (yesterday doesn't count because I was hungover), and friends and flatmates still want to do something tonight. I feel dead... I have gone out too much, making up for all those lost days during Summer. :)

We had a cross dressing dare in spin the bottle, and I must say that the guys don't look too bad xD Not as good as Koreans, but on the way.

 

Life Lessons #4

Perfection

This doesn't exist in a living form. Simple. HARSH REALITY.

Don't stress about not being 'perfect enough' because no matter how hard you try, it won't happen. You are unique, and beautiful in your own right. There is no perfect person. But you can be amazing, stunning, clever and you can fein perfection.

But then faking perfection makes your imperfect as a rule. Everything around you has a flaw, but if you turn that flaw into a positive, you'll be much happier.

Too short to reach you top shelf? You're cute and fun sized.

Really tall? Great model or basketball player.

Shy? Great at observing others.

Wear glasses? Adorkable, the right frames make you look even cuter, or sophisticated and sexy.

Next Week

I can't wait!

*Jumps up and down squealing like a fangirl*

Next weekend is going to be one of the best of the year. Not only does the Japanese festival begin again in Brighton (it's later this year for some reason), but I also move back to London.

The festival is a yearly occurrence in Bartholomew Square, where various events take place, and a 'market place' of stalls sell various items from manga, to tableware and clothing. It usually lasts around ten days, this year is from Saturday 14th September until and including the following weekend. I always go with my sister, Iris, and my best friend (I pretty much force him to come along). We enjoy the day, and will spend the whole day there. We only go to the Saturday events due to our schooling, and although I'm finished school and uni starts after that weekend, my sister still had classes.

Then there's moving back to uni. I love the independance! I have so much freedom there, and frankly, almost 4 months of summer is wayyyyyy too long. I need to start packing though :/ FRESHERS, HERE I COME!
London is a wonderful place, and I miss it so much, no matter how many times I visit. There's always somewhere new to go, some place new to explore. It's full of opportunities, life and laughter.


"If you get fed up with London, you're fed up with life." Jay Neill - actor.


That's all for today :D x

I'm Trapped!

So my sister, Iris, showed me the Korean version of this which came out two months ago, and I really liked it. Shh, don't tell her ;) She over played it and I got sick of it in a few days...

Anyway, Henry has just released the ENGLISH version of his song and now I actually love it. It's a great example of why I prefer Korean music, despite the fact that this is in english. They don't sing about drugs, sex, and the rock 'n' roll lifestyle. They sing about things we can all relate to. Take a listen :) It's so catchy, but because I know the other version so well, it took me a while to figure out what he was singing and we had to find a lyric video.

Also, check out my sister's blog with her friend Lilley* at www.sokyutelike.blogspot.co.uk for more East Asian stuff.