Boring Update ;3

So I finally took that exam on Wednesday (15th) and it went pretty well. Although I'm scared to look back at my notes incase I missed something and dread results day... This is what revision did to me :(

I've postposed my Christmas project from uni and finally took out some books from the library today, although I'm not entirely sure what I'm supposed to do with them haha. It's based on Ansel Adams, thats all you need to know. If I like any of my images, I'll post them here. I have to 'carry him around with me' like a best friend. I mean, who carries their friends? :P I have two weeks left...

And I've been getting really bored with my hair lately, so I'm wearing my extensions more often. Admittedly I wear them with a hat too as I'm loving the combination. I need more hair dyes so I can change my look even more haha. (I use wash out hair dye, and at the moment I only have pink, but I found this shop that does them quite cheaply instead of having to order them online and pay delivery.)

Unconditional love,

Cazzie x 

Magic

What if magic was real? If it actually existed.

I believe it does. But not in the fairy tale kind of way. I believe that if you believe in something enough, it becomes true. Your imagination is not just your brain making things up, but a 'third eye' sort of thing looking into a parallel or alternative dimension.

We all possess magic, and 'magicians' are the ones who have managed to tap into their abilities and make a THING out of it. The world isn't as boring as it seems. I have noticed that if I wish for something enough, with all my heart, it becomes true. Small things, nothing drastic though. And it has only happened a few times.

I live in my own world, as you can tell. At age 5, I thought that I knocked over a basket in class with my powers. I wanted it to happen, and truly thought I had done it. It wasn't the wind because the door was closed and we were inside, and no one was near it to knock it over, and it wasn't on the edge of the table either. I saw it move and fall off. I thought it was me! I was so excited that I told my mum when I got home and said "I'm a witch!" :)

There are many types of modern 'magical' people out there; wiccans, magicians, fortune tellers, etc, and for obvious reasons I cannot tell you certain things, but I do enjoy reading this sort of fiction. Imagine if everything you reason was real, just not in our world? It's truly amazing what you can see if you just believe.

Unconditional love,
Cazzie x

Harsh Reality

In life, we can all choose what we believe in. Either accept the lies, live in ignorance and be happy, or choose the truth.

I try both. I like to pretend to all those around me, that I believe what I'm told, be naiive, and trust people. But I don't. I know the truth, at least, most of it...

I know that I come across happy to people I know and meet, but my reality is far from similar. Someone made me realise how hard my life actually is, without realising it. "I'm so sad ... My dad lied to me ... He said he would visit last week and didn't arrive" I mean, pur-lease. That was it?! She got depressed over that?

I had a little tantrum, letting her know how easy she had it... How she was lucky to have pet names as a child, to get hugs before bed, nighttime stories. My mum claims to have done this, but I can't remember a thing like that. I remember being told "If you don't like it here, move in with your father" from a young age. My dad is leaving the continent by the end of the year, my youngest half-sister has turned into a spoilt brat, my older siblings barely saw me grossing up, I would get hit frequently, and I have never been academic enough in my dads eyes.

My life hasn't been the worst, but its definitely not the best either. I chose to try and be happy, not to let people put me down or push me around. I became stronger mentally, yeah things still get me down, and I may be bipolar, but I usually manage it. I became a brilliant actress in life, and I'm trying to be a success. I may not get to be famous, (fame was never a goal anyway) but I know I will make it. I have so much determination that its unreal. I refuse to give up, to go backwards.

That is all for now.

Life Lessons #4

Perfection

This doesn't exist in a living form. Simple. HARSH REALITY.

Don't stress about not being 'perfect enough' because no matter how hard you try, it won't happen. You are unique, and beautiful in your own right. There is no perfect person. But you can be amazing, stunning, clever and you can fein perfection.

But then faking perfection makes your imperfect as a rule. Everything around you has a flaw, but if you turn that flaw into a positive, you'll be much happier.

Too short to reach you top shelf? You're cute and fun sized.

Really tall? Great model or basketball player.

Shy? Great at observing others.

Wear glasses? Adorkable, the right frames make you look even cuter, or sophisticated and sexy.

Life Lessons #3

Self Harming

Don't do it! I know what it's like to spiral into a pit of despair, the only release for your emotions being pain.

The empty feeling, being lonely even when surrounded by people. Unbearable sadness, the ache in your heart. Yeah, I've been there....

But from experience, cutting doesn't actually help. The pain? Yes. The blood, woozy feeling and scars? No.
Ok, I hate the sight and smell of blood, but that isn't the point.
In my down days, I would go to forum after forum for help, and the best piece of advice was: Keep a rubber band around your wrist, then instead of cutting, ping it. You still get the pain without the scars. Sorry I can't remember who said it, but it was probably on FizzyFamily.com.

Remember that no matter what you are going through, it CAN and WILL get better. Sometimes we do things that we regret, but that's life. And life matters.

Stay strong. <3

Flirting

"I don't know how to flirt!"

Well, that's what I say when I'm told to flirt. Told to flirt?! Well flirting is something that happens naturally, not something to force. I've been told that I'm a natural flirt, which honestly, isn't a good thing to me. I get all kinds of unwanted attention. Heck, I had to say I had a girlfriend to get a guy away from me in a club...

Anyway, my point is that some people are genuinely nice people, but their kindness is often mistaken for flirting. And for others, they try so hard to flirt that they actually turn people away.

A word of advice, be yourself. There's not point trying to impress someone if you look completely fake.

Well, I don't really have any advice, just my opinions... >.<