APRIL FOOLS!!

Ok, so I have started writing this post at midnight. Exactly on midnight.

1st April. April Fool's Day. Have any plans? I never do.

Back in my school days, my friend had this idea to cut out little fish and stick them on people or put them in belongings. It came from our French teacher saying this is what happens in France, so our friendship group joined in this foreign tradition.

Then there was the time my friend told her mum that she was pregnant. Her mum's reply was "Hahaha, no one would touch you." BUUUURRRRRRNN!

Anyway, I can't think of any more pranks, my memory is terrible and I'm kind of lame. :P

Unconditional love,

Cazzie x 

Life Lessons #3

Self Harming

Don't do it! I know what it's like to spiral into a pit of despair, the only release for your emotions being pain.

The empty feeling, being lonely even when surrounded by people. Unbearable sadness, the ache in your heart. Yeah, I've been there....

But from experience, cutting doesn't actually help. The pain? Yes. The blood, woozy feeling and scars? No.
Ok, I hate the sight and smell of blood, but that isn't the point.
In my down days, I would go to forum after forum for help, and the best piece of advice was: Keep a rubber band around your wrist, then instead of cutting, ping it. You still get the pain without the scars. Sorry I can't remember who said it, but it was probably on FizzyFamily.com.

Remember that no matter what you are going through, it CAN and WILL get better. Sometimes we do things that we regret, but that's life. And life matters.

Stay strong. <3

Mainstream Shizz

I want to start off by saying that I am in no way a hipster, no matter what my friends think.

I've just gotten so used to not being a part of the majority that following the crowd has become a turn off.. I always felt like an outsider as a child, first because I'm half African and half white British, and second, I never felt like I belonged. In my first school, no one was mixed race. They were either white, black or Asian. I wasn't 'one of them'.

My friends always seemed to have happy, perfect lives. Both parents working, siblings they got along with and all the toys they wanted. Me on the other hand, my parents divorced by the time I was four. My mum couldn't work because she wanted to be there for me and my sister, and with no family that really liked my mum, she had to struggle on her own. I would always argue with my sister, which led to arguments with my mum, most of them resulting with the line "Why don't you go and live with your father!". Because my mum wasn't working, she couldn't afford the toys my friends got, cable/satellite TV or nice stuff in general. So I wasn't like everyone else to start with.

Secondary school definitely pulled me apart. People would wonder why I didn't act more 'black', why I was quiet, why I was me. I was scared to come out of my shell and show what I really liked. I got into anime and manga but was criticized for it. There was this one girl who thought I was copying her and tried to make me hate myself. I might have mentioned her before, I actually hated going into school. The last year was actually my worst year. I loved Kpop music for the first time, but I was called strange and uncool.

I turned to my sister earlier and said that "Kpop is becoming too mainstream... I don't like it." 

University is like a whole other life for me. When I'm there, I am truly myself. I'm not scared of the judgement, the looks and stares. I re-invented myself, as the confident me. That worked for about a week. Now I'm halfway between that and how I was before. Sure some people aren't open to the fact that I like different things, but I don't care anymore. I am myself and I could never be happier.

I don't just listen to 'mainstream music', I listen to anything I like the tune or beat to. I like The Midnight Beast, The Lonely Island, and The Band Perry. This is where I don't follow suit; Simple Plan, Mika, Evanescence, Fun, Taylor Swift, Eminem, Lil Wayne, Nicki Minaj, Lindsey Stirling, Big Bang, Nu'est, 2NE1, to name a few of my favourites. Yeah most of these are mainstream artists, but I don't check the Top 40 or anything, I just download the albums and any singles I like.

On the other hand, I also don't follow fashion. Like every girl, I update my wardrobe whenever I can, and buy what's in stores but my collection is quite small because I am so fussy. I get fed up quickly and my style is sometimes called; punky, quirky, cute, different, tomboy-ish, bright. It all depends on my mood.

IT'S ALL ABOUT BEING YOURSELF, AS LONG AS YOU ARE HAPPY IN YOUR OWN SKIN, WHO CARES WHAT THE WORLD THINKS! As long as you don't do anything illegal, or dangerous to others, it's all cool.

Be Yourself

I wouldn't really be able to describe this much better myself, and it really bugs me when people want to follow the crowds instead of being unique. I pride myself in not copying other people, I dress my own way, act my own way and choose to do things based on my morals and my personality.

"Gemma" is often telling me how she wants this 'Paul's Boutique' coat because everyone at her school has one, and she only wants certain branded clothes because of what others think. One, it makes things expensive and two, she looks like everyone else. At least if I try to find my actual sister in a crowd, I can based on her clothes or hair. If I look for Gemma, I look for the smallest black child around, not her sense of style or how she dresses.

I love Jenna Marbles, she's a great inspiration and makes some pretty funny videos like 'How to trick people into thinking you're good looking', and admittedly her older videos are the best ones. Jenna doesn't try to be someone else, and if you go past the fake tanned skin and blonde hair, you find that she isn't a bimbo, but an intelligent person with a great personality.

Just remember to:

• be creative
• be strong
• be courageous
• be ambitious
• and most importantly: be yourself

:)