Happy New Year - Part 2

Happy New Year (again)!!

Do any of you have any New Years Resolutions? You know, the whole 'new year, new me' sort of thing?
How about keeping it simple 'I will be nicer to my parents'.

My half one is to take more selfies. I looked through my Instagram a couple of weeks ago, and realised that most of my stuff is boring and either food or random things that no one would find interesting at all. So I decided at that point (before Christmas), that more pictures will be of me. Hopefully it will boost my self-esteem or confidence, or something.

I haven't made a resolution for almost 10 years, (I must have been around 9, maybe younger) so let's just see how this goes. So far so good ^.^ Check my progress @carinadumfeh on Instagram ^.^

Unconditional love,
Cazzie x

Mainstream Shizz

I want to start off by saying that I am in no way a hipster, no matter what my friends think.

I've just gotten so used to not being a part of the majority that following the crowd has become a turn off.. I always felt like an outsider as a child, first because I'm half African and half white British, and second, I never felt like I belonged. In my first school, no one was mixed race. They were either white, black or Asian. I wasn't 'one of them'.

My friends always seemed to have happy, perfect lives. Both parents working, siblings they got along with and all the toys they wanted. Me on the other hand, my parents divorced by the time I was four. My mum couldn't work because she wanted to be there for me and my sister, and with no family that really liked my mum, she had to struggle on her own. I would always argue with my sister, which led to arguments with my mum, most of them resulting with the line "Why don't you go and live with your father!". Because my mum wasn't working, she couldn't afford the toys my friends got, cable/satellite TV or nice stuff in general. So I wasn't like everyone else to start with.

Secondary school definitely pulled me apart. People would wonder why I didn't act more 'black', why I was quiet, why I was me. I was scared to come out of my shell and show what I really liked. I got into anime and manga but was criticized for it. There was this one girl who thought I was copying her and tried to make me hate myself. I might have mentioned her before, I actually hated going into school. The last year was actually my worst year. I loved Kpop music for the first time, but I was called strange and uncool.

I turned to my sister earlier and said that "Kpop is becoming too mainstream... I don't like it." 

University is like a whole other life for me. When I'm there, I am truly myself. I'm not scared of the judgement, the looks and stares. I re-invented myself, as the confident me. That worked for about a week. Now I'm halfway between that and how I was before. Sure some people aren't open to the fact that I like different things, but I don't care anymore. I am myself and I could never be happier.

I don't just listen to 'mainstream music', I listen to anything I like the tune or beat to. I like The Midnight Beast, The Lonely Island, and The Band Perry. This is where I don't follow suit; Simple Plan, Mika, Evanescence, Fun, Taylor Swift, Eminem, Lil Wayne, Nicki Minaj, Lindsey Stirling, Big Bang, Nu'est, 2NE1, to name a few of my favourites. Yeah most of these are mainstream artists, but I don't check the Top 40 or anything, I just download the albums and any singles I like.

On the other hand, I also don't follow fashion. Like every girl, I update my wardrobe whenever I can, and buy what's in stores but my collection is quite small because I am so fussy. I get fed up quickly and my style is sometimes called; punky, quirky, cute, different, tomboy-ish, bright. It all depends on my mood.

IT'S ALL ABOUT BEING YOURSELF, AS LONG AS YOU ARE HAPPY IN YOUR OWN SKIN, WHO CARES WHAT THE WORLD THINKS! As long as you don't do anything illegal, or dangerous to others, it's all cool.

Be Yourself

I wouldn't really be able to describe this much better myself, and it really bugs me when people want to follow the crowds instead of being unique. I pride myself in not copying other people, I dress my own way, act my own way and choose to do things based on my morals and my personality.

"Gemma" is often telling me how she wants this 'Paul's Boutique' coat because everyone at her school has one, and she only wants certain branded clothes because of what others think. One, it makes things expensive and two, she looks like everyone else. At least if I try to find my actual sister in a crowd, I can based on her clothes or hair. If I look for Gemma, I look for the smallest black child around, not her sense of style or how she dresses.

I love Jenna Marbles, she's a great inspiration and makes some pretty funny videos like 'How to trick people into thinking you're good looking', and admittedly her older videos are the best ones. Jenna doesn't try to be someone else, and if you go past the fake tanned skin and blonde hair, you find that she isn't a bimbo, but an intelligent person with a great personality.

Just remember to:

• be creative
• be strong
• be courageous
• be ambitious
• and most importantly: be yourself

:)

Prejudice

Now I want to go back in time to last September, when I met my flat mates for the first time. I was terrified  and hungry (typical for me) and hadn't met anyone yet on the second day. I walked into the kitchen and everyone was there, they were so loud. >.<

I come from a pretty quiet house, despite everything that goes on, my family will stay away from each other or just talk quietly. The only time we are loud is during an argument, even when my mum tried to break my arm, she was quiet enough not to wake my sister in the same room.

So imagine my horror when I found everyone talking really loudly, laughing and discussing parties. I was fine with all that, I swear, but the sheer volume of them scared me. Sure I may love to watch anime, read, watch films in my room like every other hermit out there, but I also love to party as much as every other girl my age. Getting dressed up, drinking, and having a tonne of fun with my friends. I'm actually pretty normal, despite what I claim.

I found out a few months later that my whole flat thought I would be a boring bookworm. They didn't know that I go out a lot, or that I gave up pole-dancing before going to uni, and as a child I played loads of sports. When they found out, it shone a whole new light on me, as if I suddenly became a different person. Just because I wear glasses and had a shirt on that day (originally undone over a vest but I got cold and buttoned it up), it doesn't mean I am that kind of person.

It really bugs me when people judge others before getting to know them, and I know that I do it too, but we should give people a chance before blowing them off. I hated this one girl at first because I thought she liked the same guy as me, but now we're really close and I regret how I felt at first. People are surprising and if we just take the time to get to know someone, then we might end up staying friends for the rest of our lives.

So what I'm saying is that you shouldn't judge someone on the way they look, or because they drink when they go out. Just because they smoke weed (I have never done drugs and I'm completely against it for my own reasons but I won't bully you to stop. Although smoking is really bad and you should give that up :) If not, it's your own health you're damaging), or go pole-dancing, or play sports, or are gay/lesbian, or just don't behave in the same way as you. No one is perfect and the sooner people accept this, the easier it will be to make friends and enjoy life.