Chromebook?

So, last week I bought myself a Chromebook. This is not going to be one of those reviews where I convince you to buy it now, but my own personal experience based on a few days.

Firstly, this was not bought to replace my laptop. In fact, I'm thinking of ditching it for a gaming or high powered desktop after university while staying faithful to an over 15 year relationship with Windows PCs.
I have switched from a 15.6" laptop to an 11" Chromebook to be used while on the go. That means that I find the keyboard a little small, but still workable. I would also say that the touchpad is delicate (it is way too easy to switch lines while typing by accident) and can be compared to a Macbook.

As this is my secondary 'laptop', I don't need it all the time. But dropping documents into Google Drive means that I must be connected to the internet for the files to save and simultaneously appear on both devices. Although it is great to simply connect before leaving home, then do all my work on the go without powering off and open them again when I get home to find the new versions. The battery life helps with this. With my wifi off, muted volume (I won't need sound if I'm listening to my phone on the train) and no bluetooth (seriously, who still uses that?), I have found that on 88% battery, I still have almost 12 hours left. Obviously, the more processes happening, the shorter the battery life. But that also means I won't need to charge it during the day if I make sure I have enough before leaving home. It also makes my bag lighter whilst walking around.

I have a HP version of this, bought on my university campus (they overcharge on everything and I paid £250 for it) and I have no problem with a lack of USB slots (2) and an SD card slot. I can even plug in a HDMI cable for presentations.

Lastly, as this has turned into an amateurs review, it's super cute in size. It fits snugly in my handbag, and I barely notice the weight gain.

I do like this Chromebook, but not as a primary device. It works great as something portable and light, without the pricetag of a Macbook. You also shouldn't expect too much from it, from what I can tell, it's basically a tablet with a keyboard (not detachable), a fast startup time (less than 10 seconds) and the processing power to do the things adults do most often, which is check emails, write documents and surf the internet. Depending on the brand and model, the RAM and memory will vary, but I'm sure that's nothing an external hard drive will fix. Maybe don't expect Photoshop too soon though.

Anyway, I'm travelling tomorrow so if I have anymore to add after a proper use, I'll add it at the end.

Unconditional love,
Cazzie x

You know when...

...you have a really good day, and then someone does something small that ruins it completely?

Yeah, my mum (what a surprise) did just that. I had a perfectly good day going on, I got a call back from the job I really want this summer, and even though its a small thing, she kept looking at my laptop. I mean, if I wanted to show you what's on my screen, I would do.

Now, this is what makes her a hypocrite; she always told me off for being nosey as a child (I would ask lots of questions) but she went one step farther and looked round to my screen. Rude, or what?

Yes I know I have mother issues, I don't really like her as a person anymore, so I'll shut up now.

Unconditional love,

Cazzie x 

Leaving The Country?

I'm about to embark on a magical journey to the capital of Ghana for summer?

Say what?!

I got a text off my older siblings yesterday, asking why I'm leaving the UK. Obviously, I was confused and asked what they meant. Eventually, one replied saying that I'm going to live in Ghana. Well... considering my passport hasn't arrived yet, I don't see how that is possible. I don't even know how they got this information, I never mentioned a thing to my family, except saying that I don't want to live with my mum ever again.

Anyway, I move away from beautiful London on Thursday, to my crummy town. Summer is going to be awful, after all the optimism I had just a few posts ago. First things first, I must get a job.

Unconditional love,
Cazzie x

Update (16/06/2014): My brother head it from my sister, who heard it from a friend, who 'heard' it from my mum... -.-

He Left

My Dad has left.

I know I haven't lived with him in ages, and he separated from my mum when I was two, but this time he's gone for good. I got a call Sunday morning from him to explain that he was about to board a plane to Ghana. A one way ticket...

My dad is throwing away the past 20-odd years, 3 girls, 2 ex-wives and a minimum of 2 houses. (I always thought he had more because he had 5 at one point.) My youngest sister is 12!! I'm not through with university, and with my funding cut next year, I don't know how I will cope without his financial support. Then there's the fact that when I'm with my mum over summer, I can't just walk round to visit him. I can't call his phone whenever I need him.

My dad didn't just leave home. He didn't just leave town. He didn't just leave the country either. He changed freaking continents... >.< Maybe I should add him back on facebook?

Annyway,
Unconditional love,
Cazzie x

"Don't Judge Me"

Don't ask for the impossible.

We are human, we will judge you whether you like it or not. BUT, it is our choice to take that judgement seriously or get to know you before making a proper judgment.

Just hope that more people have positive judgements or ignore their judgement upon first meeting :).

Unconditional love,
Cazzie x

Annoying

Ok, so I had to tell someone and explain to them that I am bisexual, yet mostly lesbian. He's a guy. Then his first question was "Do you find me attractive?" I'm sorry, but if I tell you that I'm a lesbian, what makes you think I'll find you attractive?

No lie. This was today.

I always find it really awkward to answer. I mean, are you stupid and will I actually hurt your feelings?
Anyway, some people are easier to tell, and they know. But the ones I'm closest to and don't suspect a thing, the ones where I think they will judge me and where I actually care what they think, they don't know.

Emily and Maya in PLL.

Unconditional love,

Cazzie x

Don't You Get It?

Just a little rant/story of today.

So I was in university (as usual) and this guy in my lecture spoke to me between that and our seminar, and we ended up buying a smoothie down the road. He paid for it and everything, but the longer I spoke to him, the more I thought he was into me..
We got back in the building and had ten minutes to spare, so we spoke some more. He was thrilled to find out about where my family come from, and his family is from a neighboring country. Then we somehow spoke about the 'guys' I'm into. I never outright said that I'm not currently into guys (and maybe I should have), but I did mention Korea and Japan a lot. Then he invited me out for dinner Thursday. Now, I'm used to just going out for dinner with friends casually, so I agreed.

I'm pretty sure everyone knows about my love for G Dragon.

We went to our respective rooms and I later saw him on my way back from lunch. The hugged me and went to (I assume) kiss my lips but I moved so he caught my cheek. He checked that I would text him later today (whoops, I forgot until I typed that), and we left at that as he was going home, and I had work to go through.

This gets me thinking. If I say I'm *only* into East Asian Guys (exclude girls for a second), and you're half Jew/ half African, then I'm not interested.

Also, is this now a date?!

I'm so clueless about these things..

Unconditional love,
Cazzie x

CHERRY BAKEWELLS!!!

WHY DO YOU DO THIS TO ME?! WHY?!

Oh, so I have this craving. To these:


And well, I can't have one. Not just because I haven't bought any in years, but because I'm allergic. Yes, that's right. Allergic to a craving. >.<

I have a nut allergy. Most specifically to hazelnuts, cashews and I forgot the other one, but over the years, it's gotten worse. The smell of peanuts sets off my allergies, and a couple of years ago, this delicious treat gave me a reaction.

Has this happened to any of you before? Do you have allergies and then one day, you want something that has this product in it?

Over the Christmas holidays (my stupidly long 2 months off uni holidays), I craved carrot cake. And well, most shop bought carrot cakes have walnuts in. And the ones without nuts, had currants. (I wanted PURE carrot cake. No hidden extras.) Walnuts aren't officially on my list, but I stay away from all nuts as I don't want the risk. (And I refused to renew my epipen...)

So yeah.. Let me know.

Unconditional love,
Cazzie x

Pretty Little Liars

This is one of about 5/6 shows I watch on a regular basis, when they're aired of course. I follow the programme online as I don't seem to be able to find it on TV in my country, plus I like to watch things around my schedule, not the broadcasters.

I know that most people write reviews and such after the season or show has finished, or after a mid-season finale, yet I am writing a little now. Because I'm that normal :P.

Spencer, Hanna (blonde), Aria and Emily.

Anyway, we're well into season 4, and it's getting as good as season 1 now :D. It's a show that follows these four friends, starting a year after their friend, Ali's, death. Ali brought these girls together in life, and now they stay together because of the person that calls him/herself, A. The seasons have gone through many suspects, 4(?) more deaths, a series of love interests and many twists and turns. The last episode I watched, made me gasp, and wonder what A has planned next. The more the girls dig for clues, and get closer to finding out the truth, the worse the consequences.

Aria

This show has taken us from beautiful Rosewood, to the creepy Ravenswood, and everywhere in between. No place is safe, and it has even made me a little more aware of what goes on around me. Only a little. ;)

Ali

We *think* we know who Red Coat is, but we still don't have all the answers. I don't want to release any spoilers with my other questions so: Why/what was Ali hiding? Who are all the people in her diary? And what else are the girls hiding?

Spencer

There's supposed to be another season after this, and hopefully between now and then, everything will make sense.

Unconditional love,
Cazzie x

This Town Sucks

Sorry Crawley!!! (Not really sorry.)

To all those who know me, it is not a surprise that I absolutely hate my town with a passion. In fact, I go on about it so much.

"Where do you come from, before coming to uni?"
"Oh, just a little sucky/rubbish town near Gatwick."

I rarely say the name of my town unless I'm telling people that I'm back.

Anyway, I went into town earlier today just to buy a few tops because I didn't bring much from uni and I'm bored with my clothes. I successfully bought a pair of shoes in the sale yesterday and thought I would try my luck again. Now, I have a specific taste and am quite fussy with my clothes, so this is be taken into account.
I walked home from town with ... wait for it... a hot chocolate from Costa >.<.

Haha, my colourful wall and bedsheets ^.^

I didn't buy anything!

The shops here have barely any variety, and the numbers are slowly dwindling. We have so many 'coffee shops' that you could say "Let's go to town for some coffee, and maybe do some shopping after." Instead of "Let's go shopping and get a bite to eat after."

The town is full of clones, and the shops are the reason why. This is why online shopping is on the rise with obesity as going out shopping means finding nothing. As soon as I got home, I ordered a bag from Accessorize, which they did not have in store. Trust me, I went in every store that sold womens clothes. I went to Blue Inc before remembering that this store was mens wear only! It's nothing like Westfield and cannot wait to get back to London.

Unconditional love,
Cazzie x

Boring Update ;3

So I finally took that exam on Wednesday (15th) and it went pretty well. Although I'm scared to look back at my notes incase I missed something and dread results day... This is what revision did to me :(

I've postposed my Christmas project from uni and finally took out some books from the library today, although I'm not entirely sure what I'm supposed to do with them haha. It's based on Ansel Adams, thats all you need to know. If I like any of my images, I'll post them here. I have to 'carry him around with me' like a best friend. I mean, who carries their friends? :P I have two weeks left...

And I've been getting really bored with my hair lately, so I'm wearing my extensions more often. Admittedly I wear them with a hat too as I'm loving the combination. I need more hair dyes so I can change my look even more haha. (I use wash out hair dye, and at the moment I only have pink, but I found this shop that does them quite cheaply instead of having to order them online and pay delivery.)

Unconditional love,

Cazzie x 

Paranoia

So I get paranoid sometimes, but in my mind, it's not unrealistic.

My mother and myself have realised (together) that when we think something is happening to us or that we are being targeted we are actually right. People look at us and think we are mad or something, but we test our theories and come out right.

When I was young, my mum thought we were being racially targeted. She told her brothers and other family that she felt unsafe where she was living, an later found evidence of people breaking into a mid-terrace back garden which had no access from the back. She found other peoples' footprints in the sand pit. So we moved house the first time.

Whilst at uni, I thought that someone was using my stuff. So I started to deliberately leave my stuff in certain places and positions, and then I would notice if it had moved. I was right. I also noticed my mug 'missing' one day and could not find it at all. Later that day, a flatmate came into to kitchen with it. The one person that seemed to hate me in that flat was taking my stuff.

Now I am noticing (after moving buildings) that my milk is going missing. Before I was just confused, but after my (almost) whole box of cereal had been eaten (I rarely eat breakfast), and half of my remaining ice-cream being eaten, I knew something was up. So now I take a sharpie into the kitchen if I know I will be using milk for anything. I make a mark where it finishes and if the milk line is lower, I mark it with a line and '?'. The '?' is for when I don't use it myself. The marks are on the back of the bottle, so they can't be seen easily, but I wrote on the front for someone to stop using it. Unless I put cameras up in the kitchen, I will not catch the culprit. :(

My next thought is to get a mini fridge in my room (against my contract terms) so that I am not being stolen from as much. This is so frustrating. >.<

Unconditional love,
Cazzie x

Sometimes.. I hate being a girl.

To all the girls out there, do you get this too?

When mother nature gives you your monthly gift, do you feel this bad or even worse?

• So this morning, as I was in the shower, I almost passed out and had to sit on the floor for a little while, and as I was washing my hair, I had to stop and sit down with my bathroom door open to cool down.
• I then had to open my bedroom window and lay down in bed, before managing to put anything other than a towel on.
• I sleep, like all day. I physically cannot do anything more than microwave a previously cooked meal and just sit or lay down all day.
• Cramps put me off having children, if period cramps are this severe that I almost pass out, how will I give birth?
• I don't like taking medication much, so I try other ways to soothe myself.
• Eating is too strenuous. I have two bites of breakfast, drink some water then fall asleep.
• The furthest I can walk is from my bed to my door, luckily at university I have an en-suite.
• Going to the kitchen is a milestone I have to pass every few hours to re-fill a water bottle and have dinner.
• You know how cramps are always there, but sometimes they come on stronger suddenly? I breathe as if I am in labour because it hurts too much as I double over in pain.

All this makes me wish that I was back home just for this part of the month so that my mum can look after me and my dog will comfort me. The only revision I can manage today is to listen to the recordings of my lectures on repeat, even as I doze off.

Unconditional love,
Cazzie x

Happy New Year - Part 1

Ok, so I'm a little late.

So I went to Waterloo, London, to watch the fireworks this/last year with my foster sister. You know, the ones they show on TV from London. They were absolutely beautiful.

 Apologies, I wasn't really concentrating on taking focused pictures because I was watching the display more, so most of my images are useless.

 I was pretty close to the front ^.^ but that did mean that the tree on the other side of the barrier got in the way. I think there were only about 'five rows' of people in front of us.

 ^ This has got to be my favourite image out of all of them.

 It did start raining about ten minutes before the display started, so loads of people took their umbrellas out, only for me to have my view obstructed. Being typically British, it was also really windy so a load of umbrellas were tuned inside out or became broken by the end of the night.

  It was supposed to be a multi-sensory display, with strawberry mist, orange bubbles and banana flavoured confetti. Unfortunately, it was very rainy, windy and cold so they either; cancelled this part of the show, I didn't smell or taste anything due to the weather, or I left too early. I left at 00.15am. I got home (East London) at half past three!

To Borris Johnson (if you ever read this), thank you for a spectacular New Year's show, but please allow locals (my foster sister) to get home more easily when they only live ten minutes away, instead of sending us on an hour and five minutes detour.

Unconditional love,

Cazzie x

G-D & T.O.P

So I might be having a little obsession over G-Dragon and T.O.P!

Their music and fashion, and G-D's face and voice. OMG, I'm practically falling in love. So husky and smooth at the same time. I don't know how to explain it. I just love his voice.

I read an old interview last night about how he treats girls, whether he's dating them or not. He's like the perfect guy, and doesn't think twice about being a gentleman, it's just him.

I spent the entirety of last week (with the exception of when I wasn't able to gt on YouTube) going through all of their videos together.

Can I hug him now? Just a hug? A little one...

If I could meet GD, I would either fangirl so much, or pretend not to care and explode with happiness on the inside. I mean, his perfectly chiseled cheekbones and straight nose. It's probably all make up but I don't care.

And he's so quirky. I love his fluffy black hat,it goes almost everywhere with him. Oh and most importantly, his English is amazing :D *dies from excitement*

Unconditional love,

Cazzie x

I hate this

The stress is just too much now. I know I haven't explained anything really on here, but I am seriously considering dropping out of uni, retaking the year or ending my life.

I swore, after Aaron's death just over 2 years ago, that I would never let myself get that depressed again. This past month and a bit has thrown me into a downward spiral of despair, I don't know what to do. I have cried more times each week since September, than I have in the past few years. I almost self-harmed again, I panic when I see 'resemblances' of her, walk the long way home just so I can't be seen from my flat and dread going home. I barely even eat in my flat anymore. I don't go in my kitchen if I know or think someone else is in there too.

My housing office will not let me move out, I have no time to catch up and get my work in on time, and I'm just panicking now. My deadline for this essay is four days, and I've barely started it... Obviously will be handed in either unfinished, at a rubbish standard or not at all.

It has gotten to the point where BOTH my parents are working TOGETHER the help me sort this. And if you have divorced parents, you know how rare this actually is.

So, I just collapsed on my bed and cried for the past 20 minutes, and I must say, despite having so many people backing me up, all I want is a hug and I feel like I have no one to contact at midnight... My family all live over an hour away by car, and longer by public transport, any friends that I may visit or come here will not be able to get back home and the two people I am close to (distance), I have been there too much and feel like I'm bugging them as they have the same deadlines as me and have gone through something similar but worse recently.

I will now leave this depressing post to be forever lost in cyber space.

University #6

I think I am now ready to explain what happened last week. (Sorry I haven't posted in a while.)

It all started from when we first moved in together. There's this one girl (I think I called her Mel in another post), and she kept leaving her washing up in the sink that we are all supposed to use. Mel also left her rubbish bin in the hallway, for up to three weeks in which Brian put it in the bin for her. BRIAN DOESN'T EVEN LIVE HERE, HE GOES TO A DIFFERENT UNI!
Oh, and have I mentioned that she often leaves her stuff in her bedroom long enough for it to grow mold? Then laughs and leaves it in the kitchen. I'M ALLERGIC TO MOLD :(

So, Mel went home for the weekend. She left the sink full of her stuff. She put a bin bag in the hallway three days before she left. Friday afternoon (she left that morning), we noticed all this and decided that enough was enough. She had told all of us that she loves cleaning, and that's the one thing she has NEVER done here.

Being sick of everything being left, and living in almost filth, we opened up two of her cupboards. One of them just had a plastic mixing bowl on the top shelf, so Brian put the small bin bag on the bottom shelf. I collected the bag from the hallway and put it on the kitchen floor. Shanay either handed Brian the bag or put it in the cupboard herself.
Let's clear some things up, Lizzy, James, Shanay, Brian and I were all in the kitchen at this point.
Brian then moved all of Mel's food to the top shelf of the other cupboard (amazing packing skills, I must say). Lizzy handed him the pots and pans, while James and I emptied them all. Brian continued to pack all of her stuff into this cupboard.
We all played our part.

Mel came home Sunday evening, found out what happened and used 'kik' to exclaim her outrage. Unfortunately, due to changing my phone (it was in for repair and my tablet no longer has these messages), I cannot prove anything, but the it was a group conversation and so someone will have these still.
Monday, Mel decided to have a meeting with everyone. I was out. Doing photography. I was recieving texts during a photoshoot telling me that Mel hates the fact that I wasn't home, and she's angry with us all.
Tuesday (I was at work all day), Mel moves out. I was home at 8pm-ish (that's early for me) and saw her finish emptying the fridge and freezer, with a shopping trolley. She didn't say a word to me.

Apparently, Shanay said that everything was Brian's fault, and that she had nothing to do with it. It took James and Lizzy a lot of effort to also clear Phil's name.

Now this story is long and I promise to finish it tomorrow. At least, very soon. Something happened Wednesday and so I shall leave that for another post.

Goodnight my lovelies ^.^ x

EXO - European Music Awards (EMAs)

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE vote for this awesome Kpop band called EXO. Check out their Youtube videos, then vote here for me http://uk.mtvema.com/vote#cat=worldwide-act

There's less than two days left, and normally I don't beg.

You can vote up to 100 times per browser, and I used 5 each time I reached the limit. 500 VOTES FROM ME :D
I'm sad, get over it ^.^

So yeah, listen to me for once and vote, pretty please? I have literally spammed twitter about this and well, you're next.

Bye bye sweetie pies x

Oopsies

Right, so last night I was really annoyed with a couple of people in my flat, and I wrote a note to stick onto my cupboard. Basically setting some simple and easy to follow ground rules on keeping the kitchen nice. One was to not leave dishes in the sink for hours and hours on end (aimed at Mel and Phil), others were to do with the bins, putting away rubbish, etc. Just basic stuff really.

So no one really noticed until this evening, and Mel seemed to get really pissed off with me. She kept quizzing me on 'no smoking inside when it's really cold'. It's against our contract to smoke inside anyway, plus I get cold very quickly.

Also, it was more the way she behaved, throwing stuff into the sink really loudly. Clearing the whole table in a huff. Chucking out everything, probably to see if she would get a reaction out of us.

You see, I generally don't get along with girls. They irritate me, act all whiney all the time (I might be like this one though), lie about everything, wear loads of make up and barely any clothes. I'm a tomboy, all through school, most of my friends have been guys. My best friend is a guy. Although my second two closest friends are girls, I'm no good at keeping in contact with them.

So I've just gone completely off the point, and I shall leave you there.

Night night my lovelies x

University #5

Now for the story of about two weeks ago. As I have vaguely listed those that I live with, I'm going to use those names and assume you know who they are even though you really don't know these people.

Phil had been texting Lizzy since Fresher's week, pretending to be a girl that we all knew. I don't know what was in these texts, so I'm not really sure how bad they are or how they may have affected Lizzy. I was all for it when I first heard about this little prank, and thought nothing much of it. One week later, I heard that it was still carrying on and I told him to stop.
Bearing in mind that my memory is rubbish and I forgot all about it until I was reminded.
By the second week, I thought it was going on too long and told Phil to stop, especially as we didn't know each other very well. By the third week this was going on, I said that he was pure evil and had to stop immediately. Obviously he didn't.

One Friday evening while we were all drinking together (yes we're all old enough), Lizzy found out and went to her room crying. I knocked on her door a few minutes later and she answered. I hugged her as she told me what was going on, and me being drunk, I told her that I vaguely knew. She burst into tears more and closed the door in which her boyfriend spoke to me. I explained all I could, probably not really making any sense, and admitted that I probably should have told her the situation sooner. He then shut the door on my face and I broke down, crying so much that I fell to the floor for ten minutes without the tears stopping.

When I managed to compose myself, I went into the kitchen and threatened Phil. Cutting down the last part of the story, I grabbed a knife from the draining board, fell to the floor crying again, in the middle of the kitchen. The rest makes me look bad, I was acting out of character, my emotions heightened, I was drunk, and I'm not a very violent person. In fact, I would never want to hurt a person. Plus I hate the sight and smell of blood so none of my threats are actually serious.

For three days, Lizzy refused to talk to any of us. Less than a week later, I text her every couple of days about normal stuff, seeing if she would reply. Eventually she did, but she never came out of her room. For a week, we would text each other, and despite literally living next to her, I never saw her face. This weekend, so, two weeks after the incident, she finally emerged to everyone else, while I managed to go shopping with her a couple of days earlier. It took a while, but I hope and think things will be getting better from here on out.

I've finally filled her in on all the details that I did know, and she's vaguely told me a couple of the texts, which made it seem like a girl was flirting with her too much. So yeah, it was just a prank gone too far.

*I apologise for spelling and grammar mistakes, I'm really tired and not really concentrating much.*