Reviews? Fractale!

I think I might start writing reviews over the next month of anime I have watched with my friend, John*. I mean, we're working through some pretty quickly as it is, despite deadlines and stuff, so instead of just listing what I have watched, I will write short reviews. I'll be glad to get some recommendations too. Oh, and there are some movies, and some series, and some of them I have seen before but I will review as I go along anyway.

Enri

So we watched Fractale just over a week ago now. It was nice and short, only 11 episodes, set in the future. There is one 'religion' completely different to the faiths we have today. called the Fractale System, and everybody prays to the stars. It shows how little true freedom these people actually have, but they live in unknown ignorance. (Think of the Matrix.)

Clain and Nessa

The story starts at the collapse of this system, where Clain (the main guy) goes on a journey for the secrets of the system, with the help of three unique girls; an outlaw, a priestess and a dopple. Although the anime is short, and some episodes feel really short, the story keeps moving with minimal fillers. There are answers at the end and he comes out of his shell a little. I love his love for 'antiques' which is basically anything physiscal as opposed to the digital world he lives in.

Phryne

Anyway, I liked the anime. :3

Unconditional love,
Cazzie x

Magic

What if magic was real? If it actually existed.

I believe it does. But not in the fairy tale kind of way. I believe that if you believe in something enough, it becomes true. Your imagination is not just your brain making things up, but a 'third eye' sort of thing looking into a parallel or alternative dimension.

We all possess magic, and 'magicians' are the ones who have managed to tap into their abilities and make a THING out of it. The world isn't as boring as it seems. I have noticed that if I wish for something enough, with all my heart, it becomes true. Small things, nothing drastic though. And it has only happened a few times.

I live in my own world, as you can tell. At age 5, I thought that I knocked over a basket in class with my powers. I wanted it to happen, and truly thought I had done it. It wasn't the wind because the door was closed and we were inside, and no one was near it to knock it over, and it wasn't on the edge of the table either. I saw it move and fall off. I thought it was me! I was so excited that I told my mum when I got home and said "I'm a witch!" :)

There are many types of modern 'magical' people out there; wiccans, magicians, fortune tellers, etc, and for obvious reasons I cannot tell you certain things, but I do enjoy reading this sort of fiction. Imagine if everything you reason was real, just not in our world? It's truly amazing what you can see if you just believe.

Unconditional love,
Cazzie x

Family

Most people have someone in their family that they are close to, whether they live with them or not. For me, I'm close to my mum and my sister (In another blog she calls herself Iris, so I will use that name for her too). I never used to be, but now my sister and I realised that we have common interests, we go to various cities together on days out, and we sit and watch anime and japanese dramas together. My mother never used to be so understanding, but after I moved out (the first time) she realised that I wasn't going to take anymore shit from her, and she got extremely upset over it, but also noticed that I won't let people push me around. I am my own person, and nobody will stop me from being just that.

As you may or may not know, my family is a little... dysfunctional, shall we say? I had a foster sister who now lives somewhere in this country, away from us with her 'proper' family. My father left when I was two years old, long before Iris was born. I have an older half sister on my father's side living in a different country. My other older half brother and half sister live somewhere else in this town, so they weren't really around as I grew up. Then my youngest half sister lives in the south coast. That's about an hour drive away, so I only see her when she visits Dad. That's just my immediate family. I have an uncle that never spoke to my mum for the fist ten years of my life, and a little before that too. And her other brother doesn't really associate himself too often, so I now see my uncles on rare family get-togethers.

My cousins are a different story. I was really close to one of them as a young child, but she's a lot older than me, starting a family and I haven't seen her in about two years. Her two sisters barely ever spoke to me. Three cousins who I barely know anymore... Now the uncle that didn't speak to my mum for a long time? He also has two daughters, and I barely know them. All I do know is that they are pretty, have long term partners and have successful jobs. I don't see them either.

I only started thinking about this last night when a friend of mine was telling me how he and his little cousin are really close, and do almost everything together. He described them as 'like father and daughter' which I found strange and would say they are more like siblings. Then on Facebook just now, a picture came up on my timeline saying that cousins are our first childhood friends and that cousins will always be close. Unfortunately that's no the case for me. I seem to hate most of my family, and if I don't hate them, I don't feel anything for them. My uncles and cousins are more like acquaintances.

My mum has a cousin who lives to hours away from us. This is where things get positive :) She has a son and daughter, which makes us second cousins or something? Anyway, I'm pretty close to the two of them, and as we are similar in age, they only thing that stops us being so close is the distance. One of them is John, from another blog post, and in the magpie story, I named him Aaron. Even though we may not see each other regularly, when we do meet up, it's like we were never apart. Like a true family.

So as you can see, my family isn't exactly normal. But without them, I would probably be a different person.

Random Story

So I'm thinking of writing a new short story (I know, it's been forever) but I want to know if the idea had been done too many times before?

Just check out my first few paragraphs and let me know what you think?

Sorcha looked over Katie Mallory’s unconscious body, unable to do anything. The bruise from her father’s punch was slowly forming over her left eye, the blood from her nose was quickly drying, and yet, the girl looked at peace.  Katie’s mother was crying softly in the room above where her daughter lay, tidying her bedroom in a drastic attempt to calm herself. Her father stared at his own fist, still curled up in anger, after finding his daughter was not his little girl anymore. Sorcha wished that Katie had taken another path in life, one not so damaging to her emotional state.

Sorcha vanished in the blink of an eye, not that anyone in the room had noticed. She ran down the romanesque corridors to the head office. Images of happy children covered the walls, much like a child’s bedroom, an inspiration to all. She tapped on the door at the far end of the corridor, waiting impatiently and catching her breath. The door slowly opened after a few stretched seconds, feeling like an eternity to Sorcha. She walked into the office many fear, the stone desk littered with paperwork, two feather quills resting in an ink pot next to some blotting paper. The rich red carpet lined the floor, the marble fireplace burning a magnificent fire, casting a sunset aura in the room.

“Hmmm,” came a deep voice, slightly threatening, from behind the ornate desk, “Sorcha Silverlight. I have seen you twice already this month, and it’s only the first week. You walk into this office almost as much as a second home. Is this task too much for you? Do you want to be demoted?”

“No, sir.” Replied her timid voice. “It’s about the Mallory’s. It’s getting worse and I don’t know what to do. No matter how much I try, I cannot get in touch with the human world. Katie is suffering, sir, and I want to help. Nothing in my training prepared me for this!”

“You mean you are unable to make a simple phone call? Or talk to your child?” His voice almost booming.

“Of course I tried, sir. Can you remember your first assignment? Couldn’t the mentors see the implications of this mission? This isn’t fair!” Sorcha slumped down on the soft carpet, much like a teenager throwing a tantrum.

“Get up you spoilt brat! Of course I remember. The child I was first assigned to, died within two days. Black plague. Poor Henry,” He bowed his head with grief, and Sorcha immediately moved to his side to put a comforting arm around his shoulder. “We cannot predict the future, and as Guardian Angels, it is our duty to help as many children in the world as possible."



This is as far as I have gotten in the past half hour (I get distracted)... Comment, email, text, kik me your views. :)

Small World

I have a lot of random thoughts pop into my head at various times, and this hot and sticky night is one of those times.

I remember back in primary school, year 3 or 4 I think, and I used to get bullied. I never told my family, or my friends as it would happen when I was alone, and it was a couple of 'groups' that did it. One couple were girls in year six, about 2 or 3 years above me, and they would taunt me often. Eventually I confessed this to my mum's friend's daughter, (lets call her L) and it turned out that she used to be best friends with one of them. I still remember their names now, S and C shall be all I will reveal. S was a friend of L, who went to my school but later transferred because it was 'not good enough for her family' (they're snobs now). I begged L to do something, but it did not cease until S and C went to secondary school... luckily that was only about a year or two.

Unfortunately for me, the year after they left, I got bullied by another two girls, two years below me. They would sing songs about me being too skinny, calling me a twig or sticks. I took matters into my own hands and started eating a lot more. Again I never told anyone, and this is my first confession. They stopped the teasing for a while, and then it started up again by calling me a fat whale. I looked like on of those starving African children with stick arms, and a massive belly. I just ate and ate, but didn't care what.

When I finally finished that school, I found that I no longer had the same friends and my self esteem went all the way down. I became reserved and extremely shy. Almost like a different person. I was always a bit on the quiet side, but I now realise that I had changed. I was told by some 'friends' that I should stop complaining about my life because it was too depressing. I grew a tougher skin and never showed my emotions. I didn't know how to fit in and I was often alone in class.

I never really manage to keep friends for very long, but I have a few that I can stay close to... well, make that two. No matter how long we go without speaking because of uni, we can still talk about anything and be who we are. I'm glad I have these two to keep me strong through all the emotional heartbreak (more stories to come), the depression and self harm, through exams, stress, domestic violence and being homeless (for about an hour xD).

My story isn't normal, no one's is. This isn't to share with the world, but a personal reminder of what I have gone through and to know that I am stronger than people realise. I am who I am because of what has happened to me.

Stay strong everyone, and if you're being bullied, tell someone. I know I didn't and was always afraid that it would get worse if I did, but I wish I had more help back then. :)

Respect

So, I have this foster sister, and let's call her Gemma. Now Gemma is a difficult girl. She's 15 years old, but with the mind and body of a child of no more than 10. Heck my youngest sister (who doesn't live with me) is 11 and is physically and mentally more mature.

As I sit here tonight, I realise (not for the first time) that she has no respect for my mum. My mum is a lovely person, but she is getting ill with something that causes immense amounts of pain and no cure. Gemma has no respect for everything my mum has done for her. Gemma's dad left her to look after his mum in London, and my mum took her in so that she didn't need to change to a third secondary school. The nan has since passed on and the dad has no obvious intention to move back and look after her again. Social services got involved at some point and moved her to three or four foster parents, each lasting not much longer than a month, before bringing her back here. Long story short, my mum has looked after her for almost two years (with interruptions) and Gemma is a horrible child. We have changed everything about us to accommodate her, my mum has fallen out with friend's because of her behaviour, I've changed bedrooms three times, we now eat junk food (well I never did but it seems to be the only thing mum buys now because Gemma isn't healthy), I quit my job because I hated coming home to this place, and we even have to make sure someone is home all the time just in case she leaves school early (walks out during the day) or comes home randomly because we don't trust her with a key.

THE MAIN BIT.
If a person has the patience and love to take you in when no one else would or could, should you not show them some respect by behaving? Don't get me wrong, she's had a tough upbringing, but then so have a lot of us. She cries thinking that it's her fault everything is like it is (her dad says so, but he abused her so...), she screams, shouts, starts arguments for no reason, yet when I finish them, I get in trouble because I'm older, stronger and shouldn't lower myself to her level. I know I'm not perfect but I know that I've never been as bad as her.
Let's put this in perspective. This girl doesn't listen and is constantly trying to make us feel bad, to make her feel better. I came back from uni in mid-June and I have considered leaving home three times since then. THAT'S ABOUT ONCE EVERY ONE OR TWO WEEKS! I just have no where to go myself. I because depressed again after being fine for the duration of being at uni. I get stressed and really short tempered.

Now there's a meeting this week to see if she stays or goes (and if I get my dress replaced that she bleached and cut up). Fingers crossed that she goes... Or is better behaved, I don't mind either.