Hey, sorry I haven't been posting as much as I usually do, but I've been really busy. So busy that I haven't even managed to search for a job...
So I have mountains worth of coursework to complete, luckily my closest deadline is ten days away... Not that I really have much time left. I finally got one of my photoshoots done, so progress is being made, no matter how slight. I should also be doing another shoot tomorrow, with a further one during the week.
I have been spending more time with my flatmates, and we are finally all talking again. Also we seem to be getting a little closer, although I found that the more I know about one of the girls, the less I am liking her.
I figured out why I reacted the way I did a couple of weeks ago when one girl had a prank on her. (Not sure if I mentioned the whole story, if not I'll add another post.) I realised that I really liked her. Even though she has a boyfriend, just knowing that she is also bisexual and really nice, good looking, etc. made me fall for her a little. (I really need to make up names for my flatmates.)
Let's see... Shanay, Phil, Mel, James, and Lizzy. None of these names actually make sense haha. I hope I remember these... Oh, and Mel's boyfriend can be called Luke and Lizzy's boyfriend shall now be Brian.
Iris stayed over on Thursday (shh, don't tell security) which was fun, and we went to China Town Friday before taking her home and she modelled for me on Thursday (she always models for me).
I'm trying to think what else has been going on.... If I remember, I'll post. I just know there's been a lot but it's hard for me to remember.
Oh, I was also filmed as a presenter for my friend's work, went Filipino food shopping and ate out quite a bit. I'm going to be so poor over Christmas :(
Last Saturday, we went sober clubbing in Piccadilly and I saw a YouTuber but was too scared to say I so I tweeted him :/
Showing posts with label foster sister. Show all posts
Showing posts with label foster sister. Show all posts
Sunday, 20 October 2013
Tuesday, 20 August 2013
Family
Most people have someone in their family that they are close to, whether they live with them or not. For me, I'm close to my mum and my sister (In another blog she calls herself Iris, so I will use that name for her too). I never used to be, but now my sister and I realised that we have common interests, we go to various cities together on days out, and we sit and watch anime and japanese dramas together. My mother never used to be so understanding, but after I moved out (the first time) she realised that I wasn't going to take anymore shit from her, and she got extremely upset over it, but also noticed that I won't let people push me around. I am my own person, and nobody will stop me from being just that.
As you may or may not know, my family is a little... dysfunctional, shall we say? I had a foster sister who now lives somewhere in this country, away from us with her 'proper' family. My father left when I was two years old, long before Iris was born. I have an older half sister on my father's side living in a different country. My other older half brother and half sister live somewhere else in this town, so they weren't really around as I grew up. Then my youngest half sister lives in the south coast. That's about an hour drive away, so I only see her when she visits Dad. That's just my immediate family. I have an uncle that never spoke to my mum for the fist ten years of my life, and a little before that too. And her other brother doesn't really associate himself too often, so I now see my uncles on rare family get-togethers.
My cousins are a different story. I was really close to one of them as a young child, but she's a lot older than me, starting a family and I haven't seen her in about two years. Her two sisters barely ever spoke to me. Three cousins who I barely know anymore... Now the uncle that didn't speak to my mum for a long time? He also has two daughters, and I barely know them. All I do know is that they are pretty, have long term partners and have successful jobs. I don't see them either.
I only started thinking about this last night when a friend of mine was telling me how he and his little cousin are really close, and do almost everything together. He described them as 'like father and daughter' which I found strange and would say they are more like siblings. Then on Facebook just now, a picture came up on my timeline saying that cousins are our first childhood friends and that cousins will always be close. Unfortunately that's no the case for me. I seem to hate most of my family, and if I don't hate them, I don't feel anything for them. My uncles and cousins are more like acquaintances.
My mum has a cousin who lives to hours away from us. This is where things get positive :) She has a son and daughter, which makes us second cousins or something? Anyway, I'm pretty close to the two of them, and as we are similar in age, they only thing that stops us being so close is the distance. One of them is John, from another blog post, and in the magpie story, I named him Aaron. Even though we may not see each other regularly, when we do meet up, it's like we were never apart. Like a true family.
So as you can see, my family isn't exactly normal. But without them, I would probably be a different person.
As you may or may not know, my family is a little... dysfunctional, shall we say? I had a foster sister who now lives somewhere in this country, away from us with her 'proper' family. My father left when I was two years old, long before Iris was born. I have an older half sister on my father's side living in a different country. My other older half brother and half sister live somewhere else in this town, so they weren't really around as I grew up. Then my youngest half sister lives in the south coast. That's about an hour drive away, so I only see her when she visits Dad. That's just my immediate family. I have an uncle that never spoke to my mum for the fist ten years of my life, and a little before that too. And her other brother doesn't really associate himself too often, so I now see my uncles on rare family get-togethers.
My cousins are a different story. I was really close to one of them as a young child, but she's a lot older than me, starting a family and I haven't seen her in about two years. Her two sisters barely ever spoke to me. Three cousins who I barely know anymore... Now the uncle that didn't speak to my mum for a long time? He also has two daughters, and I barely know them. All I do know is that they are pretty, have long term partners and have successful jobs. I don't see them either.
I only started thinking about this last night when a friend of mine was telling me how he and his little cousin are really close, and do almost everything together. He described them as 'like father and daughter' which I found strange and would say they are more like siblings. Then on Facebook just now, a picture came up on my timeline saying that cousins are our first childhood friends and that cousins will always be close. Unfortunately that's no the case for me. I seem to hate most of my family, and if I don't hate them, I don't feel anything for them. My uncles and cousins are more like acquaintances.
My mum has a cousin who lives to hours away from us. This is where things get positive :) She has a son and daughter, which makes us second cousins or something? Anyway, I'm pretty close to the two of them, and as we are similar in age, they only thing that stops us being so close is the distance. One of them is John, from another blog post, and in the magpie story, I named him Aaron. Even though we may not see each other regularly, when we do meet up, it's like we were never apart. Like a true family.
So as you can see, my family isn't exactly normal. But without them, I would probably be a different person.
Sunday, 7 July 2013
Respect
So, I have this foster sister, and let's call her Gemma. Now Gemma is a difficult girl. She's 15 years old, but with the mind and body of a child of no more than 10. Heck my youngest sister (who doesn't live with me) is 11 and is physically and mentally more mature.
As I sit here tonight, I realise (not for the first time) that she has no respect for my mum. My mum is a lovely person, but she is getting ill with something that causes immense amounts of pain and no cure. Gemma has no respect for everything my mum has done for her. Gemma's dad left her to look after his mum in London, and my mum took her in so that she didn't need to change to a third secondary school. The nan has since passed on and the dad has no obvious intention to move back and look after her again. Social services got involved at some point and moved her to three or four foster parents, each lasting not much longer than a month, before bringing her back here. Long story short, my mum has looked after her for almost two years (with interruptions) and Gemma is a horrible child. We have changed everything about us to accommodate her, my mum has fallen out with friend's because of her behaviour, I've changed bedrooms three times, we now eat junk food (well I never did but it seems to be the only thing mum buys now because Gemma isn't healthy), I quit my job because I hated coming home to this place, and we even have to make sure someone is home all the time just in case she leaves school early (walks out during the day) or comes home randomly because we don't trust her with a key.
THE MAIN BIT.
If a person has the patience and love to take you in when no one else would or could, should you not show them some respect by behaving? Don't get me wrong, she's had a tough upbringing, but then so have a lot of us. She cries thinking that it's her fault everything is like it is (her dad says so, but he abused her so...), she screams, shouts, starts arguments for no reason, yet when I finish them, I get in trouble because I'm older, stronger and shouldn't lower myself to her level. I know I'm not perfect but I know that I've never been as bad as her.
Let's put this in perspective. This girl doesn't listen and is constantly trying to make us feel bad, to make her feel better. I came back from uni in mid-June and I have considered leaving home three times since then. THAT'S ABOUT ONCE EVERY ONE OR TWO WEEKS! I just have no where to go myself. I because depressed again after being fine for the duration of being at uni. I get stressed and really short tempered.
Now there's a meeting this week to see if she stays or goes (and if I get my dress replaced that she bleached and cut up). Fingers crossed that she goes... Or is better behaved, I don't mind either.
As I sit here tonight, I realise (not for the first time) that she has no respect for my mum. My mum is a lovely person, but she is getting ill with something that causes immense amounts of pain and no cure. Gemma has no respect for everything my mum has done for her. Gemma's dad left her to look after his mum in London, and my mum took her in so that she didn't need to change to a third secondary school. The nan has since passed on and the dad has no obvious intention to move back and look after her again. Social services got involved at some point and moved her to three or four foster parents, each lasting not much longer than a month, before bringing her back here. Long story short, my mum has looked after her for almost two years (with interruptions) and Gemma is a horrible child. We have changed everything about us to accommodate her, my mum has fallen out with friend's because of her behaviour, I've changed bedrooms three times, we now eat junk food (well I never did but it seems to be the only thing mum buys now because Gemma isn't healthy), I quit my job because I hated coming home to this place, and we even have to make sure someone is home all the time just in case she leaves school early (walks out during the day) or comes home randomly because we don't trust her with a key.
THE MAIN BIT.
If a person has the patience and love to take you in when no one else would or could, should you not show them some respect by behaving? Don't get me wrong, she's had a tough upbringing, but then so have a lot of us. She cries thinking that it's her fault everything is like it is (her dad says so, but he abused her so...), she screams, shouts, starts arguments for no reason, yet when I finish them, I get in trouble because I'm older, stronger and shouldn't lower myself to her level. I know I'm not perfect but I know that I've never been as bad as her.
Let's put this in perspective. This girl doesn't listen and is constantly trying to make us feel bad, to make her feel better. I came back from uni in mid-June and I have considered leaving home three times since then. THAT'S ABOUT ONCE EVERY ONE OR TWO WEEKS! I just have no where to go myself. I because depressed again after being fine for the duration of being at uni. I get stressed and really short tempered.
Now there's a meeting this week to see if she stays or goes (and if I get my dress replaced that she bleached and cut up). Fingers crossed that she goes... Or is better behaved, I don't mind either.
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