Apologies

So I haven't posted in almost a month, and I'm wondering what I have done in that time.

I didn't get that job I wanted, but I'm not down about it. It just wasn't meant to be. Everything happens for a reason, so hopefully I will get one in London when I eventually find somewhere to live and move back.

Family trip to Arundel. So many arguments, not even worth remembering.

I started some more anime series, so I will review them when I finish with each one. They're being aired weekly so you will have to wait for them.

Many trips to London to see my friend. Involves lots of gaming and cuddles :)

BRIGHTON!!! Just for the evening with some friends...

Junk food. My mum doesn't eat as healthily as I do because food tastes crap around here, so now I'm gaining weight...

eBay, where would I be without you? I just bought some shoes for about £10, and the RRP was £75. I'm so happy with that. :3

So I've basically done nothing for a month and this is why I haven't posted. Summer is stupidly long when you get to university, so make sure you have events lined up. One of my friend's went to (oh I forgot the name of the country), to volunteer and medically help children. It's a third world country, but she finds paid work really easy and could afford to do it. I didn't quite have £600 plus spending money, and then sacrifice my electronics.

Unconditional love,
Cazzie x

Grimm

I recently got into the television series 'Grimm' and watched the entire three seasons in about a month. Well, I watched the first season in just over a week. Then I had to pack up and move house, giving me less free time.

I LOVED IT!! It follows this man named Nick, who is a Grimm but doesn't realise until he is told by his Aunt Marie. (I may have name spellings a little wrong due to accents) He starts to see creatures that are written down in the Grimm fairytales (I don't know them all so don't take my word for it) who share our world, but most people cannot see them. It's a bit confusing to explain, but you'll understand if you watch it. He befriends several Wesen (pronounced Vessen because it's German) and knows how to read German surprisingly well. Anyway, it follows Nick and how he has to deal with being both a Grimm and a police detective, taking care of the Wesen and covering his tracks from those he works with.

I'm trying to think of another programme this is like so that I can give you recommendations based on things other people watch too, but I don't watch much TV so I can't... Think of a dark version of Hoodwinked (that kids film) with detectives and plenty of murder, for the older audience. I guess that's the best I can do.

Unconditional love,
Cazzie x

You know when...

...you have a really good day, and then someone does something small that ruins it completely?

Yeah, my mum (what a surprise) did just that. I had a perfectly good day going on, I got a call back from the job I really want this summer, and even though its a small thing, she kept looking at my laptop. I mean, if I wanted to show you what's on my screen, I would do.

Now, this is what makes her a hypocrite; she always told me off for being nosey as a child (I would ask lots of questions) but she went one step farther and looked round to my screen. Rude, or what?

Yes I know I have mother issues, I don't really like her as a person anymore, so I'll shut up now.

Unconditional love,

Cazzie x 

Mother Part2

Now I'm just going to list some things instead of writing huge paragraphs.

• From a young age, I have been told how every negative trait I have comes from my father. Not one negative thing comes from her. 
• Every argument I can remember ended with my mum telling me to go live with my father, so when I did when I was 16, she actually regretted something.
• My mum asks me how to raise my younger-by-two-years sister. I'm the third fucking child!
• She knocked my confidence at a young age, but has none herself. I had to make complaints in shops for her from the age of 8!
• She can't cook. I usually cook in the house so when I fell ill one christmas when I was staying with her, she bought me a microwave meal. Shit in a tub will not make my body work faster, I wanted soup.

• I have to cook for everyone every day I'm 'home' from university if I want to have a decent meal. Decent being, not pre-cooked - frozen - then sold. (Except chips and ice cream, I like those.)
• She tells me off for not eating enough because I don't snack on junk food much, yet doesn't like food shopping when I'm around because I spend too much money on fruit and stuff.
• She texts me every hour I'm home to see if I'm ok. I might not be in the house, but I'm not dead or 12. Give me some freedom.
• She's nagging me to get a summer job, I have applied to every temporary job in my town (there were 4).
• She wants me to make her cakes or cookies every week because I 'have nothing better to do with my life'.
• Every day, she comes in my room and lays in be bed for hours, not letting me leave to get breakfast, so I start feeling ill. Then she wants to spend every waking minute of the day with her, I need ME time.

Do you have things your parents do that you don't like? Let me know in the comments below. :)

Unconditional love,

Cazzie

Mother

For those of you that actually know me, you'd know that I don't like my mum.

First of all, she's been lying and manipulating me for my whole life, and moving away made me realise who she really was, as well and discovering myself without being put down every five minutes.

I used to be a confident kid, like most people, but over time my mum had taught me 'manner's. Basically, she taught me how to be a door mat for every body else. I would apologise when it wasn't my fault, not say a word if I objected or wanted to defend myself, and was constantly told to shut up. Not something a three-year-old wants to hear every day. This somehow managed to knock all my confidence right out of me, so being quiet and keeping my head down was then perceived as being pessimistic and 'too quiet' by my peers. I am slowly getting some confidence back over the years now, but it took me until I was 19 to realise this.

Next is the lies. My mum would tell me one thing, then the next day deny she told me anything. I was constantly being told that I was making stories up and 'making her look bad'. If I retorted, then I would get hit (which my mum once again denies). She claims to not have tried to break my arm when I was 16, but I remember that moment so clearly, the rage on her face and me giving up on life (it was a pretty depressing time in my life anyway) and telling her to do it because I didn't care what she did to me anymore. I think this was when I started to unconsciously know what my mum was. There are so many times in my life where I remember her saying something horrible to me, or hurting me, yet having those memories denied.

More coming soon. I'm too lazy to type any more (I get that from my dad, apparently).
Unconditional love,
Cazzie

Beautiful Ending

This is just a video I had to produce alongside my book project.

Kiki's Delivery Service

So I recently re-watched this film, and I think it was one of the first anime films I watched after getting back into anime. I love Studio Ghibli films anyway, and this is definitely a must see.

In short, the film tells the story of a young witch (just 13 years old) who leaves home in order to better train her powers and earn a living using her talents. As you can guess, she starts a delivery service and has to deal with the differences in the human world compared to where she grew up. But one day, disaster strikes and she finds that her powers have all 'gone'. Her magical quest with her black cat and new friends try to find a way for her to get her powers back.

I really recommend this film, it's great for the family and amazing to relax to. Go watch it :)

Unconditional love,
Cazzie x

P.S. I moved back in with my mother about two weeks ago, absolutely hate it. If I can find a job, things will get better, but it's not as bad as being homeless, which was my other option. I've spent my days going out on day trips to meet people (Eastbourne, Brighton, London, etc) just to get out of the house. I went to London a couple of days ago to see my friend who I watch anime with. He came with me to do some uni stuff and going shopping for a little, then sat at his to watch this film and eat :3 I randomly got chatted up on my way over, 20 minutes later and I had to give my number out so that I could escape.