Absolute Duo

"After losing a loved one, Tooru Kokonoe enrolls at Kouryou Academy so as to gain a "Blaze," a weapon that is his soul manifestation, for the sake of revenge. He was expecting a weapon... What he got was a shield... How is he to seek revenge with something that isn't even a weapon?!" - Anime Ultima.

On the first day of a special school, Tooru meets an innocent looking girl and is instantly intrigued. Sounds like every school anime, you say? Well... It is. Kinda. It has loads of action but it is also harem based too. 

Tomoe and Julie

Tor (Tooru) and Julie both have dark pasts, and they seek revenge for it, but everyone at this school seems to have a reason to be here. Many have a background in martial arts, and in the first day, they are told to fight each other. 

The school has a dark reason for even existing, which is only touched on in the middle and a small explanation is given at the end. 

I liked it, there are enough answers to be satisfied with the anime's existence but there are still enough questions for a season two to come out.  It's not as pervy as some anime's to the point of being annoying, and the plot is both cliché and intriguing. However, like with a lot of anime recently (possible due to my own personal circumstances) I have not felt upset if I don't watch the latest episode straight away. The art style appear to be cute and aimed at a younger audience to begin with, but you quickly realise this is not the case and it is not suitable for your four year old niece.

Tor and Julie

There are plenty of busty girls to go around, even the teacher is a little unorthodox in her appearance and teaching style. But it is worth the watch. High School of the Dead is the closest anime I can think of right now, so I highly recommend this if you've seen that.

Unconditional love,

Cazzie x 

Shinmai Maou no Testament (Testament of Sister New Devil)

The season starts off a little like a normal harem, but then a series of 'lies' occur and secrets are revealed by the end of the second episode which makes you feel sorry for the characters.

Shinmai Maou is a series about a boy, Basara,  who lives with his father and finds out that he is soon to have a new sister. "Hey, you said you wanted a little sister, right?" Basara then has to deal with his fathers news of getting remarried. What makes the story even better is how his new sisters are a succubi and a young Demon Lord. With various demons attacking his new sister, Mio, Basara learns what it is to be a brother and in the centre of a harem.
The character development is amazing, and there's absolutely no confusion over what is going on. The main characters appearance is explained soon enough and his new family grow together.

It's kinky, it's taboo, demons, monsters, heroes, sexy girls and intimate scenes. If you're into all this, and maybe even KissxSis or Highschool DxD then this is definitely for you.

Check it out and you won't be disappointed.

Unconditional love,
Cazzie x

Bonjour♪ Koiaji Pâtisserie

This is the first time I've ever watched a five minute anime. I'm open to new experiences but this was a little too strange for me to follow, even with 24 episodes.

This story follows Sayuri in her year at a school specialising in making sweets of every variety. It follows her oh-so complicated relationships between fellow classmates and the handsome male teachers in her academy. There are parts that I couldn't grasp, and the storyline moves fairly quickly, but I could do with fewer and longer episodes as opposed to this.

The comments in reaction to this, according to one site I watch anime on, are extremely positive and I can see the appeal. 

If you like cute programmes revolving around gorgeous men, adorable girls and lots of sweets, chocolate and cake, you should really watch this. At least give it a try.

So, with short episodes comes a short review, with more to follow as this season draws to an end.

Unconditional love,

Cazzie x 

My Past and my Present

Sorry for any typing errors, I wrote this on my phone.

When you've lived life being the kid with no friends, the kid with fake friends, you learn to put up a shield. You protect yourself from the world, and the world from you.

Growing up, I was that kid. I was the kid who was too thick to realise she was being picked on, not just by 'friends', but also by teachers. I was socially inept, and I still am. I was untalented. I wasn't special. I was just that kid. The victim of school, the victim of the family. The black sheep, literally.
I was the kid who tried expressing her feelings, but was always told to shut up. I was the one whose voice was never heard. I would be physically and verbally abused by those around me, threatened to stay quiet or more would come. Silenced from the world, I took refuge online.
I had multiple accounts on multiple chat sites. Anywhere to be heard. But whenever someone was kind enough to listen, I thought I felt love. I didn't, but I thought it. I didn't know what love was, I had never received it from my mum, or my family, or my so-called friends. So I would accept that person in my life, no questions asked. I let them in. I let them know who I was. I let them take advantage. I didn't learn and kept doing this for years, with so many people. I had online relationships, and real life ones. All the same.

People say the internet is a bad place. And it really is. But so is the world. I've met paedophiles, rapists, bullies and more. I met some of these in person on occasion. I didn't tell my mum where I went (pretty dangerous at 15) but I didn't care. If I died or was kidnapped, no one would miss me. I was in a bad place. This continued until I was raped at 16, by my boyfriend of the time. And then until 18 when I finally left school. Who would have thought that I wouldn't be free of this until mid way through my second year of university?

At 19 I met John (not his real name). I found someone who said he was like me, but he shut the world out and kept them out. I shut the world out but opened the gates to anyone who ventured closer. We had both been hurt. We quickly started sleeping together, and became close friends. It took him 11 months before he was ready for another relationship, and I patiently waited.
He is the best thing that has happened to me. He takes care of me all the time, he accepts me, he never pushed himself onto me, and he cares. He treats me as if I matter. And I do matter. It took me over 20 years to learn this. When the world shut me out, he's waiting for me with open arms. He truly loves me, and I love him in a way I didn't know existed before.
He hugs me more times in a week than my mum and dad have in a lifetime. He cooks for me and makes sure I eat. He cheers me up when I feel down. He is the most incredible cold hearted person I know. I would do anything for him, and to stay with him. I sound like a 14 year old with their first girlfriend/ boyfriend, but that's how I feel.
I feel like I don't do enough for him, I want to do more but most of his struggles are academic and not something I know anything about.

I don't know what this post was supposed to be about, but this happened. I can't express how quickly things can change for the better, and with several suicide attempts in my past, along with cutting, I'm glad I didn't give up. In contrast to how I've felt in the past and my circumstances, my every day life is pretty lucky. In the days before I knew how fake my friends were, I thought they were the ray of sunshine to contrast with my home life. I was naive, and I still am but life is a learning process. You get one chance, you can fuck up as much as you like, as long as you stay alive. There's no reset button, no extra lives; your health potions are the people you surround yourself with. Hopefully they're all good and give you the strength to carry on, and not the deceiving ones that make you ill.

Unconditional love, and stay strong all of you lovely people. You are worth it.

Cazzie x

Chromebook?

So, last week I bought myself a Chromebook. This is not going to be one of those reviews where I convince you to buy it now, but my own personal experience based on a few days.

Firstly, this was not bought to replace my laptop. In fact, I'm thinking of ditching it for a gaming or high powered desktop after university while staying faithful to an over 15 year relationship with Windows PCs.
I have switched from a 15.6" laptop to an 11" Chromebook to be used while on the go. That means that I find the keyboard a little small, but still workable. I would also say that the touchpad is delicate (it is way too easy to switch lines while typing by accident) and can be compared to a Macbook.

As this is my secondary 'laptop', I don't need it all the time. But dropping documents into Google Drive means that I must be connected to the internet for the files to save and simultaneously appear on both devices. Although it is great to simply connect before leaving home, then do all my work on the go without powering off and open them again when I get home to find the new versions. The battery life helps with this. With my wifi off, muted volume (I won't need sound if I'm listening to my phone on the train) and no bluetooth (seriously, who still uses that?), I have found that on 88% battery, I still have almost 12 hours left. Obviously, the more processes happening, the shorter the battery life. But that also means I won't need to charge it during the day if I make sure I have enough before leaving home. It also makes my bag lighter whilst walking around.

I have a HP version of this, bought on my university campus (they overcharge on everything and I paid £250 for it) and I have no problem with a lack of USB slots (2) and an SD card slot. I can even plug in a HDMI cable for presentations.

Lastly, as this has turned into an amateurs review, it's super cute in size. It fits snugly in my handbag, and I barely notice the weight gain.

I do like this Chromebook, but not as a primary device. It works great as something portable and light, without the pricetag of a Macbook. You also shouldn't expect too much from it, from what I can tell, it's basically a tablet with a keyboard (not detachable), a fast startup time (less than 10 seconds) and the processing power to do the things adults do most often, which is check emails, write documents and surf the internet. Depending on the brand and model, the RAM and memory will vary, but I'm sure that's nothing an external hard drive will fix. Maybe don't expect Photoshop too soon though.

Anyway, I'm travelling tomorrow so if I have anymore to add after a proper use, I'll add it at the end.

Unconditional love,
Cazzie x

A Little Something / University Advice and Review

I came to university to discover who I am, to procrastinate whilst accumulating a huge debt, and to find my purpose in life. This is what I've learned over the three years:

Well, we all know I'm failing terribly at my subject. I do much better at academics (somehow, considering I have the attention span of a sieve), and hate my course. I don't know if I should pursue my current aspiration of being a social worker; to help kids in the care system. This is based loosely on the experience of having a foster sister for a few years.

The debt. Why, oh why did I pick the expensive way through life?

I can't spell. In fact it's getting so bad I'm worried that I could be dyslexic. Thank goodness for spell check!

Love life: Let's not delve into the past, but embrace the, oh so confusing, present. I have a major crush on a girl in Florida... I am sleeping with my best guy friend. He doesn't want a relationship due to having major commitment issues, but I've accidentally grown to love him. THERE, I SAID IT! I can't make my heart choose, there are issues with both of them and they each know of the other and how I feel.
Then a friend confessed her crush for me over tumblr. I mean, if she told me in first year, maybe something would have happened?
And the past is an icky place.

Sometimes, I wish I had joined Mike at MU.

Happiness: as a group project, we launched ProjectHappyUK. It's our way of spreading awareness of mental wellbeing within students, who often get stressed. We also worked in partnership with UMHAN, a charity that specialises in this. We did this by making a series of videos, holding bake sales, and giving out hugs and business cards with positive messages on them.

Unfortunately, being bipolar, I have become extremely depressed. I had a very long positive period, and so I am worried about the duration and severity of this episode. It's a shame it had to happen at the end of this project, but I should have known  it would creep up on me.

Anime is a great time waster.

Coursework should not be done in the last couple of weeks, but it will be.

Decide on a final project at the beginning, not in the middle when you have no hope of changing it. (This was due to my depression, and lack of general motivation).

Friends don't last forever. But they are always there if you want to reconnect. Also, you will become close to someone during Freshers, and barely speak to them again afterwards.

First impressions are not your only chance. Heck, I told my current lover that I'm a lesbian so that nothing would happen between us, that didn't go to plan.

Being bisexual is complicated, only for explanations. Even at university, many people don't know what it is. Then again, they confuse bipolar disorder with schizophrenia.

Love comes in many forms, and even if the words are not used, there are other ways of showing it.

You pay for damn prescriptions. No more free healthcare for you.

Depending on how you manage your money, and how much you get, your student loan will be a blessing at first, before you realise how much everything costs.

During the most stressful year of university, you will probably have to work as your loan gets cut. Well done SFE, well done. With added stress, I now have less time.

You will not party as much as you thought in your following years.

Running away seems like a good idea at first, until you realise you won't have a degree until you actually finish your course by SUBMITTING EVERYTHING! You might have to repeat your last year. (Genuinely thinking of going to Europe until after my deadlines, maybe Amsterdam or Sweden.)

You will ignore all the advice blogs out there. Even this one.

Know your housemates before you move in, because finding a new place mid-term will make you enemies, and poorer, with added stress.

Costa and Starbucks are expensive if you buy them before and during every class. Stay away or make your own to bring in. Travel mugs are really cute, convenient and cheap in comparison. (They also make quirky vases if you get unexpected flowers.)

Being healthy isn't easy, but buying ingredients instead of ready made meals will MAKE you healthier.

Graduation will be worth all the hard work and stress. And university is a lot more fun than the working world (at least the first two years are).

This was really long so I'll stop now. I seem to have moved on from what I was originally going to write, but that's just how my brain works. Oh, go follow me on tumblr now :) details in the top right.

Unconditional love,

Cazzie x 

Six Days!!!

Six days until the Tokyo Ghoul sequel.
I can't wait!!!!

Unconditional love, 

Cazzie x