I've just gotten so used to not being a part of the majority that following the crowd has become a turn off.. I always felt like an outsider as a child, first because I'm half African and half white British, and second, I never felt like I belonged. In my first school, no one was mixed race. They were either white, black or Asian. I wasn't 'one of them'.
My friends always seemed to have happy, perfect lives. Both parents working, siblings they got along with and all the toys they wanted. Me on the other hand, my parents divorced by the time I was four. My mum couldn't work because she wanted to be there for me and my sister, and with no family that really liked my mum, she had to struggle on her own. I would always argue with my sister, which led to arguments with my mum, most of them resulting with the line "Why don't you go and live with your father!". Because my mum wasn't working, she couldn't afford the toys my friends got, cable/satellite TV or nice stuff in general. So I wasn't like everyone else to start with.
Secondary school definitely pulled me apart. People would wonder why I didn't act more 'black', why I was quiet, why I was me. I was scared to come out of my shell and show what I really liked. I got into anime and manga but was criticized for it. There was this one girl who thought I was copying her and tried to make me hate myself. I might have mentioned her before, I actually hated going into school. The last year was actually my worst year. I loved Kpop music for the first time, but I was called strange and uncool.
I turned to my sister earlier and said that "Kpop is becoming too mainstream... I don't like it."
University is like a whole other life for me. When I'm there, I am truly myself. I'm not scared of the judgement, the looks and stares. I re-invented myself, as the confident me. That worked for about a week. Now I'm halfway between that and how I was before. Sure some people aren't open to the fact that I like different things, but I don't care anymore. I am myself and I could never be happier.
I don't just listen to 'mainstream music', I listen to anything I like the tune or beat to. I like The Midnight Beast, The Lonely Island, and The Band Perry. This is where I don't follow suit; Simple Plan, Mika, Evanescence, Fun, Taylor Swift, Eminem, Lil Wayne, Nicki Minaj, Lindsey Stirling, Big Bang, Nu'est, 2NE1, to name a few of my favourites. Yeah most of these are mainstream artists, but I don't check the Top 40 or anything, I just download the albums and any singles I like.
On the other hand, I also don't follow fashion. Like every girl, I update my wardrobe whenever I can, and buy what's in stores but my collection is quite small because I am so fussy. I get fed up quickly and my style is sometimes called; punky, quirky, cute, different, tomboy-ish, bright. It all depends on my mood.
IT'S ALL ABOUT BEING YOURSELF, AS LONG AS YOU ARE HAPPY IN YOUR OWN SKIN, WHO CARES WHAT THE WORLD THINKS! As long as you don't do anything illegal, or dangerous to others, it's all cool.
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