Mother

For those of you that actually know me, you'd know that I don't like my mum.

First of all, she's been lying and manipulating me for my whole life, and moving away made me realise who she really was, as well and discovering myself without being put down every five minutes.

I used to be a confident kid, like most people, but over time my mum had taught me 'manner's. Basically, she taught me how to be a door mat for every body else. I would apologise when it wasn't my fault, not say a word if I objected or wanted to defend myself, and was constantly told to shut up. Not something a three-year-old wants to hear every day. This somehow managed to knock all my confidence right out of me, so being quiet and keeping my head down was then perceived as being pessimistic and 'too quiet' by my peers. I am slowly getting some confidence back over the years now, but it took me until I was 19 to realise this.

Next is the lies. My mum would tell me one thing, then the next day deny she told me anything. I was constantly being told that I was making stories up and 'making her look bad'. If I retorted, then I would get hit (which my mum once again denies). She claims to not have tried to break my arm when I was 16, but I remember that moment so clearly, the rage on her face and me giving up on life (it was a pretty depressing time in my life anyway) and telling her to do it because I didn't care what she did to me anymore. I think this was when I started to unconsciously know what my mum was. There are so many times in my life where I remember her saying something horrible to me, or hurting me, yet having those memories denied.

More coming soon. I'm too lazy to type any more (I get that from my dad, apparently).
Unconditional love,
Cazzie