Wishful Thinking

I have spent most of my childhood, thinking of my ideal boyfriend/husband, like many girls do. Due to what had happened all around me, I also felt unworthy and ugly.

One or two years ago, I made an awful discovery. No my parents hadn't cheated, or that I have a secret long lost sister (sure, another one really wouldn't make much difference), or that I'm adopted. But because of the age I was when my parents split up and divorced, it has a NEGATIVE IMPACT on ALL MY FUTURE RELATIONSHIPS! It has been psychologically proven, and so I realised that I have no hope with having a proper family or a 'long term partner'.

Sure this hasn't stopped me dreaming of my perfect man, or the 'father of any future children', but it does mean that I no longer fully fall for another person. I'm a hopeless romantic at heart, deep, deep down and rarely admit it. But I fall quickly and deeply, and never really get over the first person when I fall for another. I know it's bad, but it's just how my brain has been wired. Out there, somewhere, is the man of my dreams. the man that keeps popping up in the most random of places yet I'm sure we haven't met yet.