Last Post of the Month :O

This is going to be pointless...

Buuuuut, that means that pancake day is only four days away ^.^ And I cannot wait.

I personally do not like American Style pancakes.. I guess I'm just used to home made British ones. Although, I've never actually made the American ones and I probably just don't like shop bought stuffs. Yes, I wrote 'stuffs'.

My favourite topping is Kaya sauce, which is some Thai sweet coconut thing I found from the waffle man in China Town (my third home). It's delicious, and I only know of the one shop that sells it... (Need to buy some more...)
Other great toppings are; lemon and sugar, jam, golden syrup and fruit, among others. Just anything sweet. ^.^

Enjoy yet another day that is supposed to be religious but now revolves around food. ^.^

Unconditional love,
Cazzie x

Dungarees!!

These have to make a comeback this season. I mean, who doesn't love them?

So I bought a pair in the Christmas sales in New Look, and I've noticed that they still have styles in store at full price. I've been addicted to dungarees for years, I have always loved them.
Some guy stopped me in the street yesterday, just to say that he loved them. We just chatted about how they should make a comeback this season, and wondered if they would suit him.

Like the first image.

This season, when the sun comes out with some warmth, I'm going to be wearing my dungarees rolled up a little, with a crop top. And white Converse of course. I adore my Converse, so if I can find an outfit that goes with them, I will wear it.

Oh, full length dungarees of course, the short ones just look like playsuit imitations... But dungarees can be worn in many different ways to show cute sides, and tomboy ones. It's all in the accessories and other clothing you choose.

I don't think I should ever do a fashion blog...

Unconditional love,
Cazzie x

P.S. If you find some skinny jean style dungarees, let me know because I really want some. Especially the high waisted ones. <3

Trust

Trust.
Faith.
Hope.

These are all things that we should have, but due to experiences, may become lost.

I am overly trusting, yet I don't trust anyone. This means that deep down in my heart, I find it really hard to truly trust anyone. At all. But I find it easy to trust people with simple, unimportant things. So I may appear to trust you, but I really don't.

I have faith in humanity. Well... I like to think that I do. Obviously I have times where I think we are going to stupidify ourselves to extinction, but I try to believe that people are actually nice. I have faith that things will turn out great in the end.

My hopes are similar to my faith. I hope for positive things in the world, for equality (turns out I'm a communist), and for general happiness. I hope for a lot of things, and some of my hopes/wishes come true.

What do you think? I love hearing your replies through Kik. ^.^ Carinaad.

Unconditional love,
Cazzie x

Anime

Do I watch too much anime? Well..... Is there such a thing? ;3

Probably. This is procrastination at its best. And considering the amount of work I have to do, this list is a bit much. Since starting back at uni at the beginning of the month, I have watched:
Pandora Hearts
Yumikui Merry
Special A
Mayo Chiki
Kaichou wa Maid-sama!
Mirai Nikki
Spiral: Suiri no Kizuna
Loveless
11eyes

Yumekui Merry

Special A - Sakura

Spiral

Loveless

11eyes

And I tried watching:
Starry Sky
To Love-Ru
Moonphase
Maria Holic
MM!
Yuru Yuri

So um... Maybe I started these around Christmas actually, the list seems a bit long for two weeks... Make that almost two months. :) And these are what I actually remember, my laptop history doesn't seem to go back very far...

How do you procrastinate? Do you watch anime too?

Unconditional love,
Cazzie x

CHERRY BAKEWELLS!!!

WHY DO YOU DO THIS TO ME?! WHY?!

Oh, so I have this craving. To these:


And well, I can't have one. Not just because I haven't bought any in years, but because I'm allergic. Yes, that's right. Allergic to a craving. >.<

I have a nut allergy. Most specifically to hazelnuts, cashews and I forgot the other one, but over the years, it's gotten worse. The smell of peanuts sets off my allergies, and a couple of years ago, this delicious treat gave me a reaction.

Has this happened to any of you before? Do you have allergies and then one day, you want something that has this product in it?

Over the Christmas holidays (my stupidly long 2 months off uni holidays), I craved carrot cake. And well, most shop bought carrot cakes have walnuts in. And the ones without nuts, had currants. (I wanted PURE carrot cake. No hidden extras.) Walnuts aren't officially on my list, but I stay away from all nuts as I don't want the risk. (And I refused to renew my epipen...)

So yeah.. Let me know.

Unconditional love,
Cazzie x

Pretty Little Liars

This is one of about 5/6 shows I watch on a regular basis, when they're aired of course. I follow the programme online as I don't seem to be able to find it on TV in my country, plus I like to watch things around my schedule, not the broadcasters.

I know that most people write reviews and such after the season or show has finished, or after a mid-season finale, yet I am writing a little now. Because I'm that normal :P.

Spencer, Hanna (blonde), Aria and Emily.

Anyway, we're well into season 4, and it's getting as good as season 1 now :D. It's a show that follows these four friends, starting a year after their friend, Ali's, death. Ali brought these girls together in life, and now they stay together because of the person that calls him/herself, A. The seasons have gone through many suspects, 4(?) more deaths, a series of love interests and many twists and turns. The last episode I watched, made me gasp, and wonder what A has planned next. The more the girls dig for clues, and get closer to finding out the truth, the worse the consequences.

Aria

This show has taken us from beautiful Rosewood, to the creepy Ravenswood, and everywhere in between. No place is safe, and it has even made me a little more aware of what goes on around me. Only a little. ;)

Ali

We *think* we know who Red Coat is, but we still don't have all the answers. I don't want to release any spoilers with my other questions so: Why/what was Ali hiding? Who are all the people in her diary? And what else are the girls hiding?

Spencer

There's supposed to be another season after this, and hopefully between now and then, everything will make sense.

Unconditional love,
Cazzie x

Catfish

It's not a fish that look like a cat....

I mean people that pretend to be others online. Seen the movie or TV series called Catfish with Niv? 

Basically, the internet is a really easy place to pretend to be someone else. And some people create friendships and more with catfish, without realising, obviously. I met this girl online once, and we've become great friends, but when we first met, she pretended to be a 19 y/o guy. She's 12... She told me within a couple of weeks, must have gotten confused as she spoke to me as herself and 'her older cousin' and her information got muddled up.

It's so easy, see what I mean? The internet is full of people who don't like themselves, or their lives, and so they create a new persona. As long as you don't intend to harm anyone, or love them, there shouldn't be a problem. But what if the other person falls for you? How do you come clean? And can a friendship be based on what is essentially a pack of lies?

Just think about it. And be careful on the interwebs.

Unconditional love,
Cazzie x

Graveyards

Last week, I went to a graveyard to do some photography last minute to hand in for my brief.
I cried.

I found that going to a cemetery is extremely emotional, even though I did not know anyone there. I think it's the idea of death which frightens me the most. Not because I don't want to die (I have had suicidal thoughts and actions in the past), but because of the people I will leave behind. No matter what you think of yourself, there are always people out there who will mourn your death, who love you now and forever, and who will miss you loads. This is what friends and family are. Despite how annoying you are to siblings, you will still be missed.

Oh, I found this place very beautiful yet sad and upsetting at the same time. And I saw a Raven. On a tombstone. Cawing. D:

I have lost someone dear to me, as you know, and I don't want to put anyone through that. I don't want to be an emotional burden, but I also don't want anyone to rejoice that I have passed because I'm an awful person. It's hard to describe, but I'm sure you'll understand. I don't want to be hated, but loved. But I don't want my passing to put others in turmoil.

Now, I don't know where any of my family is buried, I even asked my mum after and she said that her parents had their ashes scattered. I can't even visit the grandparents that I never met. As for other family, we are spread out around the world with family all over the South of England, Canada, Africa and some of Europe. I have no way of knowing these people.

Just remember, you will always be remembered by those lives you have touched. Be remembered for the good you do, not the bad.

Unconditional love,
Cazzie x

Life Lessons #7

Plan your time wisely.

So I have this essay to write. It was given to me on Monday. It is now Sunday and I have only just realised it was there. I don't even understand the slides given to me, I don't own any of the essential reading books (seriously, who has £150 to spend on 6 books I may not understand?) and the podcast isn't much help either. NOTE: THIS IS MY FIRST WEEK OF THE SEMESTER.

I don't know anyone on my course yet (it's that odd module I picked up this semester, with a different year group of people) so I can't even ask for help.

The lesson here is to prepare yourself at university. I knew this but ignored it, and now look at me, I'm procrastinating by writing this post. As soon as you get a piece of work, read it and find out what you have to do. That way, you won't get any nasty surprises, and you know how much time to spend on it. If you then decide to leave it to that last minutes, not my problem. You had the time to seek help. Me? I should have checked all this on Monday or earlier in the week in order to seek help. To even have time to go to the library... Anyway, I'll live with the consequences and will remember for next week (where I need to write another essay in preparation).

Unconditional love,
Cazzie x

I Failed

For the first time in my life, I have failed at something that I sort of cared about. I'm usually pretty lucky as I get my own way a lot, but this shocked me.

So, I applied for extenuating circumstances on one piece of coursework last semester, and handed it in a week late due to the drama and fear of living in the previous flat last November. That led to me not doing any work at all. I was given false information throughout the process, and when my results came through last Wednesday, it turns out that I got a big fat ZERO. I've never had a zero in my life, and it had to happen in my second year of university.

I am now taking an extra subject this semester, with readings for another subject. This brings me up to almost double the amount of work I usually do, and now I have to resubmit my work in August.

But I've been told that it is possible to trail one module into my third year anyway, and that I shouldn't stress too much. Now I just want to know why my request was rejected. I'm not going to let this get me down, I will find out why it was rejected the first time round, if I need to put much effort in incase the work is capped at 40% and I will get the work done again.

This is how I think, when something puts me down, I just think 'Is there a way around this hurdle?' because everything happens for a reason, right? I feel that I am destined for greater things, and no matter what gets in my way, I will achieve it. My motivation may lack sometimes, but if something is meant to be, then I will get there.

Unconditional love,
Cazzie x

Love vs Lust

The age old question, am I in love, or is this lust?

What is love?
Love is unconditional, it is a mutual caring and protectiveness over another person. It can not be easily broken, and there will always be 'something' there even if you don't see each other anymore.
The film Frozen depicted it really well with Anna's True Love being her sister. This is love. Think about family love.

What is lust?
Lust is that tingly feeling you get when you see someone. It's the flirting, the kissing and the sex. Lust is physical more than emotional. It's exciting and makes you feel amazing, but can sometimes be short lived. Think more about the beginning of a relationship.

These definitions are in my opinion, not factual. I'm not saying that love and lust are completely different, because they are usually found together in a relationship.

I am constantly questioning if I actually love someone or not. So I meet this person, feel all tingly inside, want to be with them all the time, have so much care and emotion for them, but realise later that it wasn't love. Or not the love that I thought it could be.

I love people so much, and I can say it freely to my friends, but as soon as I met a potential partner, my lips stay sealed. I really do love everyone, until they give me a reason not to. My emotions run strong, really strong and it takes me forever to figure them out, but when I do, you'll know for sure. But I don'y want to say that I love someone, if I actually lust over them.

Unconditional love,
Cazzie x

Money Is The Mind's Motivation

The Mind's Motivation ~ J.Reyez ft Chris Jackson.

Yay, another video of a Korean artist I'm a fan of. WAIT! Don't click off just yet. As you know from a previous post, J.Reyez raps in English. He's technically Canadian anyway.

Yes we need money to live, but do we really need to make it a priority in life? We work to earn money for food. Then we want to own our own home. And we want the latest phone, gadget, technology. Once we get a place to live, we want to make it our own. Make it look nicer. Get a better car, get a better car than your neighbours.
It looks like an endless cycle. You get once thing, then want to improve on it. The next model.

Surely happiness is better for us. If every job, every rank and role, were to be paid exactly the same, would you do something you enjoy? I mean, if everyone worked, and were required to work a certain number of hours a week, with some flexibility of course. What would you do as a job? What would your priorities become?  Would you still try to earn some extra cash? Or spent time with your family? *My ideology that would probably never work*

Bedroom quote ^.^

Basically, I don't want money to rule your life. To hinder you, or to change you. There's a way around everything, and I want you all to be happy.

Unconditional love,
Cazzie

Perspective

So I was sitting there in the bar and this guy comes up to me and he said "My life stinks" and I saw his gold credit card and I saw the way he was looking at people across the room and I looked at his face and you know, what a good looking face, and I just said, "Dude, your perspective on life sucks". ~ Mika, Blame it on the Girls.

Every situation can be perceived in different ways by different people. And Mika makes a very good point in the beginning of this song. No matter how much you have, you can see the down-side, yet you can always see the best in bad situations. Try and be grateful for what you do have, instead of wishing you have what you don't. 'My life sucks' and 'FML' (back in my day) are thrown around way too much. 

I went back to my old town today, and well, everyone looked so miserable. My mum was driving, and we burst into laughter creating lives for the sad people and laughing at them. We probably looked crazy together, but laughing is so good for you. Especially as I actually saw the sun for the first time in ages. 'I swear she was glaring at the man crossing the road. Nahh, actually she was glaring at me. She hates me laughing.' Just silly things like that. People seem to get more jealous(?) and sad when they see others enjoying life. But I don't care what they think, I was singing in the shops, laughing at everything, jumped up and down in excitement over some doughnuts (my town doesn't seem to stock them ANYWHERE at the moment) and just enjoying life. We laughed at my mum screaming 'Flood!' everytime she saw a large puddle in the road, as if the cars behind could hear her warning.

Basically, enjoy the little things, and happiness will follow. I know this sounds too easy to be true, but it works for me (most of the time ;3).

Unconditional love, 

Cazzie x